Appropriate Ways To Sustain a Relationship
Many ponder what are appropriate ways to sustain a relationship. It is difficult to pinpoint at a particular time whether you are in a healthy relationship or not.
Arguing with your partner is not particularly a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Having different views sometimes is not either. Therefore, what are Components Found in Successful Relationships? and what are the appropriate ways to sustain a relationship?
5 Components Found in Successful Relationships
No one wakes up one morning and says, "Honey, let's get married, have children, go into debt, get a divorce, and be lonely the rest of our lives!" But the truth remains, that nearly 45 percent of all marriages end in divorce. And who is to say the happiness level of the other half that remains married.
You don't want just any relationship - you want the right one!
We are relational beings created to connect with others. We are hard-wired for love, attention, and affection.
Studies show that much of our life's well-being is directly linked to the satisfaction and success of the relationships we have with our partners, children, and co-workers.
Yet, little time, if any, is taken to learn about the very subject that so often determines our day-to-day happiness.
The 5 C's: ( Chemistry, Connection, Compatibility, Communication, Commitment).
A healthy relationship is like an award-winning cake recipe. It takes several key ingredients to make it successful.
Leave out one ingredient or sacrifice the quality of the ingredients and as hard as you try to make it work, it will never be a prize-winning cake. The same holds true in relationships.
Studies have shown that happy couples share certain relationship components or ingredients.
The more components you share the greater your odds of experiencing a successful relationship.
You don't want just any relationship - you want the right one!
We are relational beings created to connect with others. We are hard-wired for love, attention, and affection.
Studies show that much of our life's well-being is directly linked to the satisfaction and success of the relationships we have with our partners, children, and co-workers.
Yet, little time, if any, is taken to learn about the very subject that so often determines our day-to-day happiness.
The 5 C's: ( Chemistry, Connection, Compatibility, Communication, Commitment).
A healthy relationship is like an award-winning cake recipe. It takes several key ingredients to make it successful.
Leave out one ingredient or sacrifice the quality of the ingredients and as hard as you try to make it work, it will never be a prize-winning cake. The same holds true in relationships.
Studies have shown that happy couples share certain relationship components or ingredients.
The more components you share the greater your odds of experiencing a successful relationship.
It takes the right couple to experience chemistry and the right combination of ingredients like connection, compatibility, communication, and commitment to make a stable, healthy, long-term relationship.
When you meet someone attractive to you, your brain triggers a response to release these "feel good" chemicals. In fact, MRI scans of the brain showed that when men and women were shown pictures of their romantic partners, areas of the brain rich in dopamine "light up".
In addition, the same area did not light up when the same subjects were shown pictures of their friends. (If he is telling you he just wants to be friends then he is telling you that you are not the one turning him on, literally.)
Chemistry occurs early in the relationship. It is exciting and intense but unfortunately, it is short-lived. Over time, normally lasting between a few weeks to several months, the body develops a tolerance to the neurotransmitters causing the physical passion to decline.
Chemistry is a powerful mutual attraction that brings two people together. Although it is a very important ingredient, chemistry alone is not an indicator of a good relationship.
As awesome as chemistry feels, it is not a determining factor in selecting Mr. Right. If you make the mistake of allowing chemistry to be the final factor in determining whether to pursue or not to pursue the new man in your life, you might be disappointed in your relationship.
As a couple, a man and a woman must have an emotional connection. The connection has absolutely nothing to do with sex and everything to do with how you make the other person feel when they are around you.
Chemistry: 'Physical Intimacy'
Norepinephrine, dopamine, and phenylethylamine are chemicals called neurotransmitters. These transmitters, when released, produce feelings of euphoria, excitement, and elation.When you meet someone attractive to you, your brain triggers a response to release these "feel good" chemicals. In fact, MRI scans of the brain showed that when men and women were shown pictures of their romantic partners, areas of the brain rich in dopamine "light up".
In addition, the same area did not light up when the same subjects were shown pictures of their friends. (If he is telling you he just wants to be friends then he is telling you that you are not the one turning him on, literally.)
Chemistry occurs early in the relationship. It is exciting and intense but unfortunately, it is short-lived. Over time, normally lasting between a few weeks to several months, the body develops a tolerance to the neurotransmitters causing the physical passion to decline.
RELATED: Non-Verbal Signs Of Falling In Love >>>
Chemistry is a powerful mutual attraction that brings two people together. Although it is a very important ingredient, chemistry alone is not an indicator of a good relationship.
As awesome as chemistry feels, it is not a determining factor in selecting Mr. Right. If you make the mistake of allowing chemistry to be the final factor in determining whether to pursue or not to pursue the new man in your life, you might be disappointed in your relationship.
Connection: 'Emotional Intimacy'
You could call this "old people love". When you connect with your partner on an emotional level your relationship is secure, thoughtful, mature, warm, and familiar. And the longer you are with your partner the deeper your connection.As a couple, a man and a woman must have an emotional connection. The connection has absolutely nothing to do with sex and everything to do with how you make the other person feel when they are around you.
Is your partner comfortable, and happy? Can you trust one another with your thoughts, feelings, and desires?
A man must know that a woman is trustworthy and feel that she is authentic and real before he will open his heart and emotionally connect with her. Likewise, he must also possess the ability to connect with you and meet your emotional needs.
An emotionally mature man is a man who is capable of expressing his thoughts, feelings, and concerns. He is sensitive to your needs, supports you in a crisis, and is there when you need him.
On the other hand, an emotionally immature man will minimize your feelings, ignore your needs, and will be inconvenienced when you need his help.
A man must know that a woman is trustworthy and feel that she is authentic and real before he will open his heart and emotionally connect with her. Likewise, he must also possess the ability to connect with you and meet your emotional needs.
An emotionally mature man is a man who is capable of expressing his thoughts, feelings, and concerns. He is sensitive to your needs, supports you in a crisis, and is there when you need him.
On the other hand, an emotionally immature man will minimize your feelings, ignore your needs, and will be inconvenienced when you need his help.
Compatibility
Opposites might attract but it doesn't necessarily make them good life partners. To be compatible means to be like-minded.When it comes to relationships you need to be compatible in key areas. You need to be like-minded in your basic thoughts, ideas, and values.
When you are compatible, your likeness draws you closer. When you are incompatible, your differences drive you apart. Does this mean you need to share everything in common? Absolutely not. However, there is less conflict when you share common thoughts concerning:
Finances
Financial disagreements will kill your chemistry and short-circuit your connection. One person cannot be frugal while the other actively acquires debt.For the most part, men are afraid of getting hosed in relationships. Let's say Mr.
Right has dated and courted you for many months. He has taken you to dinner, and the movies, and bought you gifts on special occasions.
The last thing he wants to do is fall in love with a woman who accepts his gifts and then charges a designer handbag on a credit card at 19.99%. If you get married, he is thinking he may very well have to pay for your Coach bag!
Likewise, if you live on a budget while Mr. Wonderful buys drinks for everyone knowing his credit cards are charged to the max then your relationship is already on shaky ground.
A friend is someone you know and trust. You share affection, time, and common interests. Friends support one another in the good times and the bad.
This does not mean he spends all his time with you and that he never gets to play golf, go fishing, or play poker with the guys. Meanwhile, he is hanging out with the guys he can't wait to get home and see you at the end of the day.
Likewise, while you are at work, spending time with family, or out shopping with your girlfriends you too can't wait to get home to him.
There is nothing more attractive and appealing to a man than a woman who has a sense of humor.
If you can maintain the laughter and keep the conversation going in the weeks, months, and years to come, then you will not only have captured his attention, but you will have captured his heart.
However, when it comes to basic values there are definite boundaries if you are looking for a long-term committed partner.
There is no room for compromise when it comes to lying, cheating, stealing, mental, emotional, or physical abuse. Those are deal-breakers.
It will be up to you, for the most part, to learn how to foster good communication. Couples who know how to communicate their ideas, thoughts, and opinions increase their chance of maintaining a long-term relationship.
Successful communication is learned. Successful couples are partners who have learned how to communicate with one another clearly and concisely. They are not demanding, do not lose their temper, or call one another names.
To be an effective communicator, you must have a healthy respect for differences and the willingness to compromise in difficult situations. Couples who master communication are looking to respond to their partner's needs rather than emotionally react to their own demands.
Today, many families are blended families. With that in mind, when you are faced with a problem, be solution-oriented. Focus on the problem and not on the person.
If you want to know how you communicate with others, take an entire day and watch how you interact with family, friends, and coworkers. Better yet, carry a voice-activated recorder and listen to the way you speak and respond to others.
The way you deliver your message is as important as the message itself. You may have the answer to the problem, but if you sarcastically deliver the message your words of wisdom will fall on deaf ears.
When it comes to effective communication, timing is everything. Never attack him when he walks through the door at night or first thing in the morning.
There is never a valid reason for a woman to raise her voice, be hateful, or rude. When you need to talk, ask him when it would be a good time.
Men are not afraid of commitment. However, they are afraid of being committed to the wrong woman. Also, he is not intimidated or too shy to bring the subject up.
When Mr. Right has pursued you, taken the time to know you, and is emotionally connected to you, then he will not want anyone else to have you.
With that being said, just as you do not want to feel pressured about sex, he does not want to feel pressured into commitment.
When it comes to commitment he has his own timetable and just like you can't nail jelly to the wall, you cannot force him into a committed relationship until he is ready.
If it has been several months or more than a year and the relationship is not moving towards commitment and you feel you need to know where you stand, then you can gradually pull back and spend less time with him and more time with family and friends.
Usually after a couple of weeks or so he will bring the subject up. When he does, you can ask him to talk about his intentions and where he sees the relationship headed. But this is not the time to pressure him or give him an ultimatum.
This is your life. And you have every right to want what you want and not settle. If you have done the best you know to do and Mr. Right is unsure of commitment, then you can choose to stay or you can choose to walk away.
Likewise, if you live on a budget while Mr. Wonderful buys drinks for everyone knowing his credit cards are charged to the max then your relationship is already on shaky ground.
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Friends
Successful couples report their partner as their best friend.A friend is someone you know and trust. You share affection, time, and common interests. Friends support one another in the good times and the bad.
This does not mean he spends all his time with you and that he never gets to play golf, go fishing, or play poker with the guys. Meanwhile, he is hanging out with the guys he can't wait to get home and see you at the end of the day.
Likewise, while you are at work, spending time with family, or out shopping with your girlfriends you too can't wait to get home to him.
Sense of humor
If you can find a partner you can laugh with then you have found something special.There is nothing more attractive and appealing to a man than a woman who has a sense of humor.
If you can maintain the laughter and keep the conversation going in the weeks, months, and years to come, then you will not only have captured his attention, but you will have captured his heart.
Basic values
You may share a bed and good sex, but if you do not share basic core values you won't share much of anything else. Both partners in a relationship possess the ability to compromise in certain situations.However, when it comes to basic values there are definite boundaries if you are looking for a long-term committed partner.
There is no room for compromise when it comes to lying, cheating, stealing, mental, emotional, or physical abuse. Those are deal-breakers.
Communication
You learned how to communicate from your social environment growing up. Each partner brings a completely different set of communication tools into the relationship.It will be up to you, for the most part, to learn how to foster good communication. Couples who know how to communicate their ideas, thoughts, and opinions increase their chance of maintaining a long-term relationship.
Successful communication is learned. Successful couples are partners who have learned how to communicate with one another clearly and concisely. They are not demanding, do not lose their temper, or call one another names.
To be an effective communicator, you must have a healthy respect for differences and the willingness to compromise in difficult situations. Couples who master communication are looking to respond to their partner's needs rather than emotionally react to their own demands.
Today, many families are blended families. With that in mind, when you are faced with a problem, be solution-oriented. Focus on the problem and not on the person.
If you want to know how you communicate with others, take an entire day and watch how you interact with family, friends, and coworkers. Better yet, carry a voice-activated recorder and listen to the way you speak and respond to others.
The way you deliver your message is as important as the message itself. You may have the answer to the problem, but if you sarcastically deliver the message your words of wisdom will fall on deaf ears.
When it comes to effective communication, timing is everything. Never attack him when he walks through the door at night or first thing in the morning.
There is never a valid reason for a woman to raise her voice, be hateful, or rude. When you need to talk, ask him when it would be a good time.
Commitment 'Mental Intimacy'
Studies show that happy couples are committed couples. Commitment is when a couple makes a conscious decision to work through their relationship problems regardless of the challenges they face as a couple.Men are not afraid of commitment. However, they are afraid of being committed to the wrong woman. Also, he is not intimidated or too shy to bring the subject up.
When Mr. Right has pursued you, taken the time to know you, and is emotionally connected to you, then he will not want anyone else to have you.
With that being said, just as you do not want to feel pressured about sex, he does not want to feel pressured into commitment.
When it comes to commitment he has his own timetable and just like you can't nail jelly to the wall, you cannot force him into a committed relationship until he is ready.
If it has been several months or more than a year and the relationship is not moving towards commitment and you feel you need to know where you stand, then you can gradually pull back and spend less time with him and more time with family and friends.
Usually after a couple of weeks or so he will bring the subject up. When he does, you can ask him to talk about his intentions and where he sees the relationship headed. But this is not the time to pressure him or give him an ultimatum.
This is your life. And you have every right to want what you want and not settle. If you have done the best you know to do and Mr. Right is unsure of commitment, then you can choose to stay or you can choose to walk away.
Appropriate Ways To Sustain a Relationship
Can you have a Healthy Relationship without any squabbles? Hmmm...in my opinion this is indeed challenging! To my knowledge, humans cannot co-exist without a healthy relationship.
So, how do you maintain one? To do this, you really need to put on a thinking cap. Do I need to juggle and have a balance of love, patience, tolerance, understanding, confidence, commitment, and self-esteem? Or do I have to throw caution to the wind and say nonchalantly," I give up!"
Tell Yourself the Truth? Are you committed to this relationship? Are you willing to do anything, or whatever it takes to repair it? Many people are not.
Self-honesty is essential because without it nothing will change. Having a deep and loving honesty between a couple says it loud and clear. " You will always know the real me, no matter what happens! " It is a feeling permitting one to open up to the other in all honesty.
So, how do you maintain one? To do this, you really need to put on a thinking cap. Do I need to juggle and have a balance of love, patience, tolerance, understanding, confidence, commitment, and self-esteem? Or do I have to throw caution to the wind and say nonchalantly," I give up!"
Ways To Sustain a Relationship
Remember, the vital survival of a Relationship depends on you and these Essential Ingredients:Honesty -
is the first essential way to sustain a relationship, Basically, it is one of the most vital importance to any relationship.Tell Yourself the Truth? Are you committed to this relationship? Are you willing to do anything, or whatever it takes to repair it? Many people are not.
Self-honesty is essential because without it nothing will change. Having a deep and loving honesty between a couple says it loud and clear. " You will always know the real me, no matter what happens! " It is a feeling permitting one to open up to the other in all honesty.
Forgiveness -
Simply put, couples who can't make up will break up! Without forgiveness, neither is capable of letting go of the past.RELATED: what to do to get your ex-back >>>
Communication -
the third important way to sustain a relationship is communication. We need to learn how to communicate and ride the storms.Disagreements are part and parcel of every relationship but to weave through them, partners must learn different ways of communication.
Trust -
Over time, only will trust deepen. If you can trust each other, then you don't have to deal with suspicions and insecurities. You can speak freely knowing your partner trust and love you for it.Time apart (Space) -
As humans, we need to have our own space which is healthy to do so. Initially, couples are inseparable which is a norm. As time goes by, both have different interests, hobbies, and pursuits to help correlate their partnership.Respect -
After a long commitment, partners are bound to get very free with each other. You may find yourself saying or doing offensive things without caring about your partner's feelings.A keyword to remember in every step of your relationship is 'Respect'. Value your partner for what he/she believes in. Appreciating your partner's views reaffirms your love for him/her.
Friendship -
This is important to sustain a relationship. Both must rely on each other as true and sincere friends--not only as lovers.We are aware that when the passion wanes, the reality is...that it's the bond of friendship that keeps people together under any circumstances.
Give Attention and Appreciation -
This is easy to do and easy not to do. men complain about a lack of appreciation while women primarily feel a lack of attention from their men.This attention is simply another aspect of appreciation. While everyone wants and needs to be appreciated, how that happens most effectively is different for the sexes.
Similar values -
When making major decisions in life, both have to be in unison to agree. Happy couples are those who learn to agree about financial issues and how to raise their children.Have a Vision -
Are you clear about what you want your relationship to be like? How about in 3 years? Just like your work, having a clear long-term vision will keep you out of the little day-to-day nonsense that crops up.Patience -
Is the most appropriate way to sustain a relationship, If you have patience, you will undoubtedly have the tolerance to cope with each other's issues and imperfections, with understanding.Then you will have the bond to bind you through the rough and tough times. Marriages don't simply end because of problems. They break up because both parties quit trying--to solve those problems!
Romance -
There is a difference between love and being in love. In a relationship, strive to sustain the two. Ensure you are always in love by constantly introducing the spark into your relationship. Romance could also be the difference between having a platonic relationship and a romantic relationship.Always remember to live, laugh, and dream together.