Female Body Language Secrets
female body language secrets That she Use to Attract Men
Men who haven't had much luck with beautiful women are capable of dating beautiful women if they understand the signs of physical attraction. Women use body language to communicate with guys that they are interested in them. Body language signals are the signs of attraction that women use to express interest in men without having to approach them directly.
By reading this article, you will know why women use body language to communicate their interest in men and why men have to understand what women are trying to get them to see. You will be able to go into any public place and understand the body language of the women around you as it pertains to their physical interest in you. More importantly, you will be able to use body language your self to spark attraction with women your interested in.
By reading this article, you will know why women use body language to communicate their interest in men and why men have to understand what women are trying to get them to see. You will be able to go into any public place and understand the body language of the women around you as it pertains to their physical interest in you. More importantly, you will be able to use body language your self to spark attraction with women your interested in.
Distance
Let’s start with the most basic thing of all: where is she? In relation to you, that is. How close is she standing or sitting to you? What does that choice of distance say about her level of interest?
Assume that you’ve been introduced to her, you’ve already gotten through the preliminary banter and you are deep into a conversation. She seems to like you and enjoy your company – on some level. You’re standing in a room, or you’re sitting on couches. Where she chooses to position herself, and particularly whether or not it’s close enough that one of you could reach out and touch the other (without leaning over) communicates a great deal about where she’s coming from.
There are roughly four different zones:
• The Public Zone (more than 12 feet apart): physical touching is impossible. Someone maintaining this distance is not expecting any kind of interaction at all. Intrusion within 12 feet is (in most contexts) a signal of a desire for or openness to some degree of interaction (however, in some contexts in which closer proximity is unavoidable, such as standing in a line, that would not be true). She is unlikely to maintain this distance in a normal social situation unless she seriously dislikes you.
• The Social Zone (between four and 12 feet apart): physical touching is possible only if both parties seek it, such as by reaching out for a handshake, but personal interaction is possible and comfortable. Someone maintaining this distance signals openness to social interaction but not to intimate or genuinely friendly contact. This is the normal polite distance for business interactions and casual social encounters. (If she keeps that distance, it’s safe to say you have little chance.)
• The Personal Zone (between 18 inches and four feet apart): casual touching is easy, but intimate touching is not. In most contexts, someone maintaining this distance is signaling trust and a desire for more intimate, friendly and personal contact (but not an expectation of, and not necessarily a desire for, sexual intimacy). This is the normal polite distance to maintain with family and friends. If she is maintaining this distance, she likes you on some level and you should look for other signs.
• The Intimate Zone (between six inches and 18 inches): in most contexts (contact sports being an obvious exception), this zone is reserved for close friends and lovers. Someone intrusive within eighteen inches while not consent is regarded as engaging in threatening or uncomfortable behavior.
Someone who approaches this close is signaling a high degree of trust and intimacy, possibly (but not necessarily) including a desire for sexual intimacy. If she maintains this distance – well, see below.
Now, is she going to immediately zoom into your intimate zone, even if she’s seriously attracted to you when you just met a short time ago? No, probably she won’t unless she’s intoxicated or otherwise “not herself” – or if she is in a situation where that kind of behavior is more acceptable than usual (bear in mind that much of body language is context-dependent).
As a rule, in most social situations, intruding that close to another person is a privilege that has to be earned. But, on the other hand, she won’t completely stay outside of it, either – and if she does, that’s a sign that she probably isn’t interested.
She won’t stay in the public zone, either, unless you have hit a false note, because if you’re interacting in any social way that would be perceived as quite rude. (If she does, then she doesn’t want anything to do with you and you should give up right now.)
As long as you’re in the same room talking, she’ll stay at least in the social zone. That’s just polite. So the real key in terms of whether she’s interested or not is that boundary between the social and personal zones. If she’s attracted to you, looking for a relationship, she’s not going to immediately sit on your lap.
But she’ll place herself right around four feet from you, maybe a little closer – on the border between the social and personal zones. She’ll put herself where you can touch her if you’re brave enough, but not where touching is all but unavoidable.
Touching itself communicates a lot, and we’ll get to that in a bit. But here’s the question: is she within arm’s reach? Would you be able to reach out and put a hand on her arm or her face or her hair? Or would you have to move closer to her before that would be possible? If she’s maintaining a distance that’s out of arm’s reach, that’s a pretty clear sign that she’s not interested, especially if it’s accompanied by other “let’s not” signs.
But if she stays closer than that, this is the first sign – although not by itself enough to know – that you’re ringing her chimes at least a little bit.
It’s worth bearing in mind that the rules can change depending on certain aspects of the situation. Different groups of people will have different perceptions of what counts as personal space, and you’ll need to bear these in mind to truly interpret her meaning:
• If she’s a city girl, her personal bubble will be somewhat smaller than that of a country dweller. That’s because people who live in busy towns necessarily spend more time in close proximity to others, so they expect to have less personal space. There’s more space in a rural area, and its residents will expect more personal space as a consequence.
• Similarly, if she’s from another country and that country is more overcrowded than your own, she’s likely to expect less space around her and will stand closer to you than someone of your own nationality.
• If she’s from an affluent background, she’s likely to expect more personal space. That’s a requirement that’s been passed down through the ages from the times when class societies were the norm and keeping your distance from the aristocracy was simply expected.
Finally, pay attention to your surrounds:
If it’s loud and difficult to hear, she may be closer to you than she would otherwise feel comfortable with.
If you’re both parts of a large group of friends and she knows of you through an acquaintance, she’ll feel more comfortable standing close to you that if you begin the night as complete strangers.
If you’re in a crowded place and people are stood more closely together than usual, her “normal” personal space requirements will naturally adapt and she may stand more closely to you.
Along with the positioning of her whole body, another sign to watch out for is where she’s leaning. Let’s say she’s standing about four feet away from you – just at the boundary between the social and personal zones.
Is she leaning forward a bit, so that her head and upper body push into your personal zone? Or is she leaning back, so that her face is out of reach even though her hands may not be? The first may be a positive sign. The second is most definitely not.
Assume that you’ve been introduced to her, you’ve already gotten through the preliminary banter and you are deep into a conversation. She seems to like you and enjoy your company – on some level. You’re standing in a room, or you’re sitting on couches. Where she chooses to position herself, and particularly whether or not it’s close enough that one of you could reach out and touch the other (without leaning over) communicates a great deal about where she’s coming from.
There are roughly four different zones:
• The Public Zone (more than 12 feet apart): physical touching is impossible. Someone maintaining this distance is not expecting any kind of interaction at all. Intrusion within 12 feet is (in most contexts) a signal of a desire for or openness to some degree of interaction (however, in some contexts in which closer proximity is unavoidable, such as standing in a line, that would not be true). She is unlikely to maintain this distance in a normal social situation unless she seriously dislikes you.
• The Social Zone (between four and 12 feet apart): physical touching is possible only if both parties seek it, such as by reaching out for a handshake, but personal interaction is possible and comfortable. Someone maintaining this distance signals openness to social interaction but not to intimate or genuinely friendly contact. This is the normal polite distance for business interactions and casual social encounters. (If she keeps that distance, it’s safe to say you have little chance.)
• The Personal Zone (between 18 inches and four feet apart): casual touching is easy, but intimate touching is not. In most contexts, someone maintaining this distance is signaling trust and a desire for more intimate, friendly and personal contact (but not an expectation of, and not necessarily a desire for, sexual intimacy). This is the normal polite distance to maintain with family and friends. If she is maintaining this distance, she likes you on some level and you should look for other signs.
• The Intimate Zone (between six inches and 18 inches): in most contexts (contact sports being an obvious exception), this zone is reserved for close friends and lovers. Someone intrusive within eighteen inches while not consent is regarded as engaging in threatening or uncomfortable behavior.
Someone who approaches this close is signaling a high degree of trust and intimacy, possibly (but not necessarily) including a desire for sexual intimacy. If she maintains this distance – well, see below.
Now, is she going to immediately zoom into your intimate zone, even if she’s seriously attracted to you when you just met a short time ago? No, probably she won’t unless she’s intoxicated or otherwise “not herself” – or if she is in a situation where that kind of behavior is more acceptable than usual (bear in mind that much of body language is context-dependent).
As a rule, in most social situations, intruding that close to another person is a privilege that has to be earned. But, on the other hand, she won’t completely stay outside of it, either – and if she does, that’s a sign that she probably isn’t interested.
She won’t stay in the public zone, either, unless you have hit a false note, because if you’re interacting in any social way that would be perceived as quite rude. (If she does, then she doesn’t want anything to do with you and you should give up right now.)
As long as you’re in the same room talking, she’ll stay at least in the social zone. That’s just polite. So the real key in terms of whether she’s interested or not is that boundary between the social and personal zones. If she’s attracted to you, looking for a relationship, she’s not going to immediately sit on your lap.
But she’ll place herself right around four feet from you, maybe a little closer – on the border between the social and personal zones. She’ll put herself where you can touch her if you’re brave enough, but not where touching is all but unavoidable.
Touching itself communicates a lot, and we’ll get to that in a bit. But here’s the question: is she within arm’s reach? Would you be able to reach out and put a hand on her arm or her face or her hair? Or would you have to move closer to her before that would be possible? If she’s maintaining a distance that’s out of arm’s reach, that’s a pretty clear sign that she’s not interested, especially if it’s accompanied by other “let’s not” signs.
But if she stays closer than that, this is the first sign – although not by itself enough to know – that you’re ringing her chimes at least a little bit.
It’s worth bearing in mind that the rules can change depending on certain aspects of the situation. Different groups of people will have different perceptions of what counts as personal space, and you’ll need to bear these in mind to truly interpret her meaning:
• If she’s a city girl, her personal bubble will be somewhat smaller than that of a country dweller. That’s because people who live in busy towns necessarily spend more time in close proximity to others, so they expect to have less personal space. There’s more space in a rural area, and its residents will expect more personal space as a consequence.
• Similarly, if she’s from another country and that country is more overcrowded than your own, she’s likely to expect less space around her and will stand closer to you than someone of your own nationality.
• If she’s from an affluent background, she’s likely to expect more personal space. That’s a requirement that’s been passed down through the ages from the times when class societies were the norm and keeping your distance from the aristocracy was simply expected.
Finally, pay attention to your surrounds:
If it’s loud and difficult to hear, she may be closer to you than she would otherwise feel comfortable with.
If you’re both parts of a large group of friends and she knows of you through an acquaintance, she’ll feel more comfortable standing close to you that if you begin the night as complete strangers.
If you’re in a crowded place and people are stood more closely together than usual, her “normal” personal space requirements will naturally adapt and she may stand more closely to you.
Along with the positioning of her whole body, another sign to watch out for is where she’s leaning. Let’s say she’s standing about four feet away from you – just at the boundary between the social and personal zones.
Is she leaning forward a bit, so that her head and upper body push into your personal zone? Or is she leaning back, so that her face is out of reach even though her hands may not be? The first may be a positive sign. The second is most definitely not.
The Eyes And Female Body Language
All right, so you’ve just met this woman and she’s lit a fire in your brain (or other parts of your body) and you want to know if you have a chance. She’s standing comfortably within arm’s reach and maybe leaning forward. If you had the courage, you could reach out and stroke that pretty hair, maybe take her head in your hands and pull her in for a hot kiss... and get your face slapped.
Slow down a moment! Let’s consider some other clues to her mindset before you do anything overly... well... male.
We transmit a lot of information with our eyes. The eyes, as the saying goes, are the windows of the soul. What do her eyes tell you about her interest or lack thereof, and how is that communicated?
First and simplest is this: What is she looking at? Is it you? If so, then she’s interested in you, in some way at least. (Not necessarily that way – but if she’s looking at other things or people most of the time, she’s not particularly interested in you in any way). If her eyes remain glued to yours or drift over your lips as you talk, or roam over the rest of you, well, that’s definitely a positive sign.
If she frequently looks away to examine something in her hands, or to converse with other people in the group, or if she seems to find that painting on the wall far more fascinating than you, that’s a sign that this relationship may not be going anywhere fast.
Bear in mind that women aren’t as visually driven in terms of sex appeal as men are, and yet they are not immune to visual stimuli, either. A woman’s sexuality is normally more complex than a man’s and responds to intelligence, kindness, boldness and clear expressions of your own desire, not just your handsome face and cut body (which may be good news or bad). Nonetheless, where she chooses to fix her eyes is still an indicator of where her interest lies.
Here’s an important sign that is often neglected: does she let you catch her looking at you? This is especially important if you’re not actually talking to her at the moment. If you are, then naturally she’s going to be looking at you because that’s polite and expected, but if you’re doing something else and she’s on the other side of the room, looking at you may well amount to a check-out. (Either that or you have a stain on the back of your shirt).
But here’s the biggest and best clue of all: when you happen to look her direction and see her checking you out, what does she do? For that matter, what do you do? Let’s not forget that mating-game body language is a two-way discussion, not a broadcast.
If you see a woman looking at you from across the room, a positive and encouraging signal is to look back at her and smile. A discouraging one is to look away quickly.
This is also what you should look for, but with some caution on drawing conclusions. When she realizes that she’s been “caught,” and quickly turns her attention elsewhere, that probably means that, although she found something there worth looking at, she is not interested in pursuing the connection (for whatever reason – it might have nothing to do with you at all).
On the other hand, it might instead indicate that she is shy or insecure about her own appeal. Either way, it’s a sign you shouldn’t approach immediately – but you should pay attention to whether she does it again.
If instead of looking away, she returns your smile, then that is an almost certain sign that she wants further contact. Women sometimes let themselves be “caught” checking out a guy just to make sure, in a fairly safe and noncommittal way, that he knows she’s interested. This requires a certain amount of confidence on her part, but not so much as to discourage all but the boldest.
Another clue can be found in how long she looks at you. This, like most body language signals, has to be put in context. If you’re just meeting for the first time, to stare at you would be rude, so she probably isn’t going to do that. What you want to look for is eye contact maintained just a little longer than is customary.
Say you’re in a conversation with her and one or two other people. While you talk, she looks at you, into your eyes, with a smile on her face. So far, so good. But now someone else speaks up. Does she immediately turn her attention to the new speaker? Or does she keep looking at you for a second or two, blink, and then turn to the new person?
The latter is a pretty clear sign of interest and attraction. You can also watch for eye contact cues during group situations, such as: If you’re part of a group and both talking to other people at the same time as chatting to one another, she’ll keep looking at you even when you’re not the one doing the speaking. You’ll still get the lion’s share of her eye contact if she’s interested in you on a sexual level.
In a group conversation, watch what she does after she makes a joke. If she looks straight to you once she’s told the punch line, that’s a good sign – she wants to be sure that you’ve found it funny and therefore that her humor has appealed to you.
If you’re in a situation where you find yourself moving around and talking to different people, watch to see whether she keeps you in her line of sight. If she likes you, she will try to keep herself pointed towards you as though you were still connected – just at a greater distance than before. You can test this theory by moving again and looking to see whether she turns to realign herself with you.
The same signal (length of visual engagement) can provide information later in the relationship as well. If you’re on a date, it’s normal for her attention to be focused mainly on you, but check out how easy or often she can be distracted from looking into your eyes by something else of interest.
Now, what about the eyes themselves? Other clues reside here. A woman who finds you interesting will open her eyes somewhat wider than if she doesn’t. Partly that’s a normal reaction to anything we find of interest, but partly it’s an instinctive way to make herself more attractive.
For some reason, bigger eyes in proportion to a woman’s are more attractive to most men than smaller ones – although, actually, the cause-effect relationship may go the other way; it could be that because widened eyes are a sign of interest, and that’s why men find them more attractive.
Whatever the answer to that long-pondered question, it certainly is a sign of interest. As are dilated pupils, but you have to be somewhat careful with that as a signal because, in a dimly-lit room, such as your typical dance club, everyone’s pupils will be somewhat dilated just so they can see better in the dim light.
Allowing for this natural widening, dilating of the pupils is a sign of interest, particularly sexual interest, that is completely involuntary. It’s a pretty sure sign that, at least on a superficial level, she finds you attractive.
That it’s completely involuntary is a good thing in regard to this signal, because there’s just no way that she can fake it or hide it. But the eyes go way beyond this in their ability to communicate, and the voluntary clues they provide – the things she must do deliberately – can give out even more information. The eyes can be used to flirt very effectively.
Of course, a smile should accompany any of these gestures or it will mean something else – often something quite the opposite of pleasure. It should also be the right kind of smile, but we’ll get to smiles a little later on.
A woman can communicate a whole range of emotions with her eyes, along with the rest of her face, her hands, and her tone of voice. If you’re telling a sad story, her eyes may show sadness in sympathy; if you’re telling a joke, her eyes may laugh; if the story is one to provoke outrage or anger, then her eyes may flash fire. Or, of course, they may simply register boredom.
(Don’t forget that it’s just as important to know when she’s not interested as it is to know when she is.) In that case, you would probably be well advised to turn your attention elsewhere.
Always look for how well her eyes, in motion and inattentiveness, match what you’re saying. That’s a key indicator of whether she finds you interesting.
What are some indicators that she isn’t interested? We noted above that when the eyes are somewhat widened, and especially when the pupils are dilated, it denotes interest.
Well, the opposite shows either disinterest or actually dislike. If her eyes are narrowed when she looks at you, that shows you’ve hit a wrong note somewhere, especially if she looks away or down after her eyes narrow.
But be careful about that looking down business, because there’s another clue involving looking down that’s a whole lot more positive. Let’s say that she sees your smiling face and looks into your eyes.
Immediately her eyes flick downward, stroking the length of your body before they return to your eyes. What that almost always means is that she saw something that appealed to her, check out the rest of your body to see if it was equally appealing, and then returned attention to your face quickly enough that it didn’t amount to visually undressing you.
Unless what she saw with that quick sweep of the eyes was disappointing, this is a great sign. At a minimum, it shows that she saw something to attract her interest and that might be worth a follow-up.
Slow down a moment! Let’s consider some other clues to her mindset before you do anything overly... well... male.
We transmit a lot of information with our eyes. The eyes, as the saying goes, are the windows of the soul. What do her eyes tell you about her interest or lack thereof, and how is that communicated?
First and simplest is this: What is she looking at? Is it you? If so, then she’s interested in you, in some way at least. (Not necessarily that way – but if she’s looking at other things or people most of the time, she’s not particularly interested in you in any way). If her eyes remain glued to yours or drift over your lips as you talk, or roam over the rest of you, well, that’s definitely a positive sign.
If she frequently looks away to examine something in her hands, or to converse with other people in the group, or if she seems to find that painting on the wall far more fascinating than you, that’s a sign that this relationship may not be going anywhere fast.
Bear in mind that women aren’t as visually driven in terms of sex appeal as men are, and yet they are not immune to visual stimuli, either. A woman’s sexuality is normally more complex than a man’s and responds to intelligence, kindness, boldness and clear expressions of your own desire, not just your handsome face and cut body (which may be good news or bad). Nonetheless, where she chooses to fix her eyes is still an indicator of where her interest lies.
Here’s an important sign that is often neglected: does she let you catch her looking at you? This is especially important if you’re not actually talking to her at the moment. If you are, then naturally she’s going to be looking at you because that’s polite and expected, but if you’re doing something else and she’s on the other side of the room, looking at you may well amount to a check-out. (Either that or you have a stain on the back of your shirt).
But here’s the biggest and best clue of all: when you happen to look her direction and see her checking you out, what does she do? For that matter, what do you do? Let’s not forget that mating-game body language is a two-way discussion, not a broadcast.
If you see a woman looking at you from across the room, a positive and encouraging signal is to look back at her and smile. A discouraging one is to look away quickly.
This is also what you should look for, but with some caution on drawing conclusions. When she realizes that she’s been “caught,” and quickly turns her attention elsewhere, that probably means that, although she found something there worth looking at, she is not interested in pursuing the connection (for whatever reason – it might have nothing to do with you at all).
On the other hand, it might instead indicate that she is shy or insecure about her own appeal. Either way, it’s a sign you shouldn’t approach immediately – but you should pay attention to whether she does it again.
If instead of looking away, she returns your smile, then that is an almost certain sign that she wants further contact. Women sometimes let themselves be “caught” checking out a guy just to make sure, in a fairly safe and noncommittal way, that he knows she’s interested. This requires a certain amount of confidence on her part, but not so much as to discourage all but the boldest.
Another clue can be found in how long she looks at you. This, like most body language signals, has to be put in context. If you’re just meeting for the first time, to stare at you would be rude, so she probably isn’t going to do that. What you want to look for is eye contact maintained just a little longer than is customary.
Say you’re in a conversation with her and one or two other people. While you talk, she looks at you, into your eyes, with a smile on her face. So far, so good. But now someone else speaks up. Does she immediately turn her attention to the new speaker? Or does she keep looking at you for a second or two, blink, and then turn to the new person?
The latter is a pretty clear sign of interest and attraction. You can also watch for eye contact cues during group situations, such as: If you’re part of a group and both talking to other people at the same time as chatting to one another, she’ll keep looking at you even when you’re not the one doing the speaking. You’ll still get the lion’s share of her eye contact if she’s interested in you on a sexual level.
In a group conversation, watch what she does after she makes a joke. If she looks straight to you once she’s told the punch line, that’s a good sign – she wants to be sure that you’ve found it funny and therefore that her humor has appealed to you.
If you’re in a situation where you find yourself moving around and talking to different people, watch to see whether she keeps you in her line of sight. If she likes you, she will try to keep herself pointed towards you as though you were still connected – just at a greater distance than before. You can test this theory by moving again and looking to see whether she turns to realign herself with you.
The same signal (length of visual engagement) can provide information later in the relationship as well. If you’re on a date, it’s normal for her attention to be focused mainly on you, but check out how easy or often she can be distracted from looking into your eyes by something else of interest.
Now, what about the eyes themselves? Other clues reside here. A woman who finds you interesting will open her eyes somewhat wider than if she doesn’t. Partly that’s a normal reaction to anything we find of interest, but partly it’s an instinctive way to make herself more attractive.
For some reason, bigger eyes in proportion to a woman’s are more attractive to most men than smaller ones – although, actually, the cause-effect relationship may go the other way; it could be that because widened eyes are a sign of interest, and that’s why men find them more attractive.
Whatever the answer to that long-pondered question, it certainly is a sign of interest. As are dilated pupils, but you have to be somewhat careful with that as a signal because, in a dimly-lit room, such as your typical dance club, everyone’s pupils will be somewhat dilated just so they can see better in the dim light.
Allowing for this natural widening, dilating of the pupils is a sign of interest, particularly sexual interest, that is completely involuntary. It’s a pretty sure sign that, at least on a superficial level, she finds you attractive.
That it’s completely involuntary is a good thing in regard to this signal, because there’s just no way that she can fake it or hide it. But the eyes go way beyond this in their ability to communicate, and the voluntary clues they provide – the things she must do deliberately – can give out even more information. The eyes can be used to flirt very effectively.
A woman may do this by lowering her eyes and then looking up at you from under lowered lids, or by turning her head to the side and glancing at you sideways from beneath her lashes, or by looking back at you over her shoulder.RELATED: Things Woman Wants In Man >>>
Of course, a smile should accompany any of these gestures or it will mean something else – often something quite the opposite of pleasure. It should also be the right kind of smile, but we’ll get to smiles a little later on.
A woman can communicate a whole range of emotions with her eyes, along with the rest of her face, her hands, and her tone of voice. If you’re telling a sad story, her eyes may show sadness in sympathy; if you’re telling a joke, her eyes may laugh; if the story is one to provoke outrage or anger, then her eyes may flash fire. Or, of course, they may simply register boredom.
(Don’t forget that it’s just as important to know when she’s not interested as it is to know when she is.) In that case, you would probably be well advised to turn your attention elsewhere.
Always look for how well her eyes, in motion and inattentiveness, match what you’re saying. That’s a key indicator of whether she finds you interesting.
What are some indicators that she isn’t interested? We noted above that when the eyes are somewhat widened, and especially when the pupils are dilated, it denotes interest.
Well, the opposite shows either disinterest or actually dislike. If her eyes are narrowed when she looks at you, that shows you’ve hit a wrong note somewhere, especially if she looks away or down after her eyes narrow.
But be careful about that looking down business, because there’s another clue involving looking down that’s a whole lot more positive. Let’s say that she sees your smiling face and looks into your eyes.
Immediately her eyes flick downward, stroking the length of your body before they return to your eyes. What that almost always means is that she saw something that appealed to her, check out the rest of your body to see if it was equally appealing, and then returned attention to your face quickly enough that it didn’t amount to visually undressing you.
Unless what she saw with that quick sweep of the eyes was disappointing, this is a great sign. At a minimum, it shows that she saw something to attract her interest and that might be worth a follow-up.
Hand Talk
What she is doing with her hands can convey a lot of information about her levels of interest. We use our hands not only to manipulate our environment, but also to convey feelings, emphasis, and intent, and we use them to explore what’s before us as scouts and ambassadors.
With the exception of the face, the hands are the most expressive indicators of mood and intention that our bodies possess.
To begin with, how active are her hands? Is she keeping them pretty much still, maybe holding a drink or sipping from it, with the other hand in a pocket or by her side? Odds are she’s not interested in you, then.
If she is, her energy level will be higher and she’s more likely to fidget: to fiddle with anything she’s holding, to touch up her hair or preen in some other way or to touch her own body in ways that she’d really rather you were touching her (um – no, not that way – slow down).
If she’s holding a drink, does she move her hands along it as if she were stroking an intimate, cylindrical part of your body? The same can be done with any object of more or less the right shape, such as a pen or the strap of a handbag, and some women have been known to make this gesture deliberately, knowing perfectly well what they are communicating.
It can even be done with her own wrists or the finger of the other hand. Never underestimate the creativity of the human mind when it comes to sending mating signals. On the other hand, there’s fidgeting and then there’s fidgeting. The motion of the hands can show an active dislike or disinterest as much as it can display interest.
If her hands seem to be moving constantly so as to impose a barrier between the two of you, that’s not so good. Also, if her hands are in constant, nervous motion, but not in ways that suggest caresses or intimate touching, that’s not so good, either. It can show that she is simply a nervous person.
It can also show that you make her nervous, and not in a good way. You can also cross-reference her hand motions with other bodily signs; if they are accompanied by motions of the head, the eyes, etc., that show positive interest, then you’re probably right in interpreting the hand movements the same way, and the same for the other direction.
Watch for “cute” gestures made while she’s talking to you. Little shrugs of the shoulders, tossing the hair, bouncing a little on the feet, hand gestures that expose the open palm, or better still both open palms, spreading the arms – all of these gestures seem to invite you to take her in your arms.
Depending on what stage of interaction you’re in, that may or may not literally be true, but don’t forget that it can actually be more socially dangerous to touch a woman in a way she is thinking about, but not actually inviting, than in a way she isn’t.
That may seem strange, but it’s true; she may be feeling an impulse but in most cases, she likes to be in control of whether or not to act on it. If she does this kind of thing while paying attention to you, that’s an extremely good sign and an indicator that you should follow up the nonverbal conversation with signals of your own, leading to you taking things to the verbal level.
And of course, if she reaches out and touches you with any regularity, that’s a sure sign of a desire for intimacy. Well, unless it hurts.
Placing her hand on yours, or using an excuse to touch your face (“Is that something in your eye?”, “I’ve been studying phrenology, can I feel your head bumps?”, “Wow, your beard is soft, some men have such scratchy beards”) or straightening your tie, or patting you on the arm or shoulder, all of these are signs of an interest in physical intimacy, especially if accompanied by other signs. (Slapping your face probably isn’t.
On the other hand, it’s definitely a sign that you need to improve your approach and be a bit more subtle, so it’s good and useful information just the same.) We’ll go into touching in a bit more detail later.
Short of this, how is she holding her hands? Are her arms folded across her chest? In that case, she’s protecting herself against invasion – a sign that she would find touching unwelcome.
When she makes a gesture, are the palms up or down? A palm-up gesture is open and exposed, a palm-down one closed and protective; the first is a good sign, the second is not. One hand resting in her elbow while the other is palm-up and open, with the palm, fingertips, and wrist exposed, is good.
There are parts of a woman’s body that are sexual signals when they are exposed, and especially when she takes action to expose them. When she touches her hair, does she do it so as to expose her neck, her throat, the underneath of her forearms? When she adjusts her skirt, are her legs spread a little wider? Does she stroke her own neck, the hollow inside her elbow, or the inside of her own thigh?
As with all of these signals, it’s important to put it all together and understand the big picture of what she’s sending, rather than focus down on one single item. A woman is a complex living creature whose signals are as complicated as she is, and they have to be read all together, rather than in isolation.
With the exception of the face, the hands are the most expressive indicators of mood and intention that our bodies possess.
To begin with, how active are her hands? Is she keeping them pretty much still, maybe holding a drink or sipping from it, with the other hand in a pocket or by her side? Odds are she’s not interested in you, then.
If she is, her energy level will be higher and she’s more likely to fidget: to fiddle with anything she’s holding, to touch up her hair or preen in some other way or to touch her own body in ways that she’d really rather you were touching her (um – no, not that way – slow down).
If she’s holding a drink, does she move her hands along it as if she were stroking an intimate, cylindrical part of your body? The same can be done with any object of more or less the right shape, such as a pen or the strap of a handbag, and some women have been known to make this gesture deliberately, knowing perfectly well what they are communicating.
It can even be done with her own wrists or the finger of the other hand. Never underestimate the creativity of the human mind when it comes to sending mating signals. On the other hand, there’s fidgeting and then there’s fidgeting. The motion of the hands can show an active dislike or disinterest as much as it can display interest.
If her hands seem to be moving constantly so as to impose a barrier between the two of you, that’s not so good. Also, if her hands are in constant, nervous motion, but not in ways that suggest caresses or intimate touching, that’s not so good, either. It can show that she is simply a nervous person.
It can also show that you make her nervous, and not in a good way. You can also cross-reference her hand motions with other bodily signs; if they are accompanied by motions of the head, the eyes, etc., that show positive interest, then you’re probably right in interpreting the hand movements the same way, and the same for the other direction.
Watch for “cute” gestures made while she’s talking to you. Little shrugs of the shoulders, tossing the hair, bouncing a little on the feet, hand gestures that expose the open palm, or better still both open palms, spreading the arms – all of these gestures seem to invite you to take her in your arms.
Depending on what stage of interaction you’re in, that may or may not literally be true, but don’t forget that it can actually be more socially dangerous to touch a woman in a way she is thinking about, but not actually inviting, than in a way she isn’t.
That may seem strange, but it’s true; she may be feeling an impulse but in most cases, she likes to be in control of whether or not to act on it. If she does this kind of thing while paying attention to you, that’s an extremely good sign and an indicator that you should follow up the nonverbal conversation with signals of your own, leading to you taking things to the verbal level.
And of course, if she reaches out and touches you with any regularity, that’s a sure sign of a desire for intimacy. Well, unless it hurts.
Placing her hand on yours, or using an excuse to touch your face (“Is that something in your eye?”, “I’ve been studying phrenology, can I feel your head bumps?”, “Wow, your beard is soft, some men have such scratchy beards”) or straightening your tie, or patting you on the arm or shoulder, all of these are signs of an interest in physical intimacy, especially if accompanied by other signs. (Slapping your face probably isn’t.
On the other hand, it’s definitely a sign that you need to improve your approach and be a bit more subtle, so it’s good and useful information just the same.) We’ll go into touching in a bit more detail later.
RELATED: How To approach a Lady For The First Time >>>
Short of this, how is she holding her hands? Are her arms folded across her chest? In that case, she’s protecting herself against invasion – a sign that she would find touching unwelcome.
When she makes a gesture, are the palms up or down? A palm-up gesture is open and exposed, a palm-down one closed and protective; the first is a good sign, the second is not. One hand resting in her elbow while the other is palm-up and open, with the palm, fingertips, and wrist exposed, is good.
There are parts of a woman’s body that are sexual signals when they are exposed, and especially when she takes action to expose them. When she touches her hair, does she do it so as to expose her neck, her throat, the underneath of her forearms? When she adjusts her skirt, are her legs spread a little wider? Does she stroke her own neck, the hollow inside her elbow, or the inside of her own thigh?
As with all of these signals, it’s important to put it all together and understand the big picture of what she’s sending, rather than focus down on one single item. A woman is a complex living creature whose signals are as complicated as she is, and they have to be read all together, rather than in isolation.
Touching
Let’s go into a little more depth about touching one another. This can be the clearest of all body-language signals that a woman finds you attractive. As with all body language, however, one has to put it all into a cultural and personal context.
Americans live in an unusually touch-averse culture. It is quite impolite in mainstream American society to touch someone without an invitation except in the most superficial ways, or when it’s unavoidable (and in the latter case, an apology is usually in order).
It’s against this cultural backdrop that touching becomes such a useful signal, particularly in the early stages right after the introduction, that a woman finds you attractive. Once you know someone well, American culture allows more in the way of social touching, but initially she is overcoming barriers to do it (as are you).
For that reason, your baseline expectation should be no touching at all. She will stand or sit a few feet distant, paying polite attention to what you’re saying and looking you in the eye as she does so, and use her hands only for expressive gestures or to hold food or drink. So what are some of the ways she might cross the barrier and touch you?
Firstly, and most innocently, there’s the “hand-in-hand” or “hand-on-arm” touch. Note that neither this nor any of the other touching mentioned here will be a prolonged touch. She isn’t holding your hand, just patting it or touching it lightly in passing. This can be done in several ways.
For example, suppose you’re between her and the punch bowl and she asks you to refill her drink for her. She might contrive to brush your hand with hers as she passes you her cup or takes it back.
She might make a particularly expansive gesture and brush your hand or arm in the course of it. (If that happens, does she apologize? If she does, that means the touching probably was an accident.)
One such incident doesn’t mean much at all. What you want to look for is a pattern of repeated touching, along with signs that it was deliberate rather than accidental. In fact, that’s a good rule to follow when interpreting body language in general.
Another thing that’s important to recognize here is that, while mainstream American culture is highly touch-averse, there are subcultures within the society that are less so.
Hispanic culture, some other immigrant groups and cultural descendants of the counterculture movements of the 1960s and 1970s all exhibit more willingness to touch each other socially and sometimes other behavioral differences that can make interpreting signals more difficult.
(One man of our acquaintance had a highly attractive female housemate who not only hugged him frequently but also thought nothing of parading around the home in the nude. Her interest in him, alas, was purely platonic. Her “touchy-feely” cultural background gave her a different baseline for such behavior that was common in American society, leading to misunderstanding).
Aside from potential culture-based misinterpretations, you can reasonably recognize an attraction on a woman’s part when she:
• Repeatedly and frequently touches your hand, wrist, arm, elbow, shoulder or knee during the conversation.
• Finds excuses to touch your face or hair, which is more intimate and invasive than touching your extremities.
• Invites you to touch her in some way – to feel her forehead for a sign of fever, to hold her hand while examining the lines on it, to feel the ridge of a surgery scar, to feel how smooth her skin is due to using of some lotion or treatment, and so on.
As with all other body language signals, touching has to be interpreted in the overall context of other nonverbal (and verbal) signals she’s sending. Still, touching is a pretty solid signal, if it’s done often and repeatedly.
If you’re in a polite conversation, chances are that she’ll be smiling, so the mere fact that she is won’t tell you anything. Frowns and similar negative facial expressions directed towards you are either a sign that you’ve really been out of line or else they’re reserved for a time when you’re already on a more intimate basis when such things are more acceptable.
You need to consider just what kind of smile it is. Women observe things differently that's why you need to understand the female mind.
First, let’s look at the parts of the smile. These include more than just the lips. Consider:
• Lips – open or closed? Can you see her teeth? (Note: this is not a sure sign; some people don’t like showing their teeth because they think them unsightly; as a rule, though, a wide smile that shows the teeth is more sincere and inviting than a closed-lipped smile.) Can you see her tongue from time to time?
• Jaw muscles – Basically, the more of the face is involved in a smile, the more sincere it is. If she’s really amused, happy or excited by your company, her facial and jaw muscles will get into the act and show the effect in the shape of her face.
• Eyes – In particular, if a smile is sincere and not “pasted on,” it will show in her eyes, with little crinkles forming at the corners and the eyes opening wider.
A smile that seems forced or merely the minimum consistent with politeness is definitely not a good sign. We can see this in a couple of different ways.
Sometimes she will smile briefly, perhaps with a little forced, nervous giggle, before the smile disappears or she hides it by taking a drink. Sometimes she will smile in a rigid way, with the lips not moving and the muscles of the face held stiffly.
This shows that she is bored with your company or even actively dislikes you, but not enough to do something overt and discourteous.
The main thing to look for is whether the smile seems to be reflected not just in her eyes, but in the rest of her face and her body as well.
Is she animated, moving a lot, her attention focused on you, with a smile that changes often as she responds to your conversation (verbally or otherwise)? Or is she stock-still, blinking often or looking elsewhere, with a pasted-on smile that looks like she has to remember to keep it there? These are among the best clues as to whether she is interested in you or not.
If she does, she’ll be attentive and either relaxed or keyed-up in a way that indicates excitement. If not, she’ll be the opposite.
The type of smile is important but equally important is the frequency of the smiles turned in your direction. A woman who is interested in you will smile a lot when she’s paying attention to you.
Often, this will go beyond smiling to laughter. Don’t neglect the “giggle factor” when making your assessment! This is of course especially true if your conversation or behavior is designed to make people laugh, as it often is in social situations.
How readily does she laugh at your jokes? Does her laugh seem to emerge spontaneously and readily from the backdrop of her smile, or is it forced? (This is the same consideration as applies to the smile itself.)
When you’ve interacted with a woman a few times, it’s definitely a good sign if she lights up with a high-wattage smile when she first sees you, especially if she seems to do that more in your direction than in those of others.
As always, though, bear in mind that some women are simply more gregarious than others.
Look for how she behaves towards you that is different from the way she behaves towards others, or that seems pronounced compared to her normal baseline.
That she smiles to see you doesn’t mean anything if she smiles to see everyone unless her smile is bigger, more sincere or more frequent when it’s turned in your direction than it is normally. Besides smiling, there are other things that a woman’s mouth can do that are flirtatious and signs of interest.
These include:
• Parted lips. This is an especially good indicator if the smile is not really big. The reason that is so is that a big, wide smile will part the lips naturally and without much significance. A woman experiencing a degree of sexual arousal, on the other hand, is likely to have slightly parted lips even when she is not smiling, or when she is smiling only slightly. Exactly why is one of those things, like the pupil-dilation response, that is not known; it could be that parted lips mimic an aroused vulva and so are intended by instinct to convey a signal of availability. That’s plausible – but there’s no real evidence for it. Regardless, the signal is real and usually reliable.
• Licking the lips. We’re not talking about anything crude or blatant here; just an occasional flick of the tongue over the lips to keep them moist. As with parted lips, this may be an instinctive signal because of the resemblance to an aroused vulva. Again, though, there’s no real evidence for this, it just makes logical sense. On the other hand, it may be because of the excitement of being in your company makes her just a touch nervous, and licking the lips is a nervous gesture. (Remember, though, there’s good and bad nervousness. If she’s licking her lips a lot and seems agitated and worried, that eliminates most of the good indication from the tongue action.) Either way, if she does this, it’s a sign you’ve had an effect on her – for good or bad.
• Breathing rate. All right, this is not lips per se, but when a woman is experiencing arousal and excitement, her heart rate and rate of breath will increase, and this, too, can cause the lips to open, and also dry the lips occasioning moistening them with her tongue – it all hangs together.
• Putting things in her mouth. A woman may put something in her mouth – other than to eat or drink, of course – and gently suck or chew it as a sign of interest or arousal much like the hand movement on a drinking glass mentioned above. Now, just to be clear, usually, this is not anything crude or obvious – not like she’s simulating fellatio – but more a sort of rhythmic fiddling using the mouth as well as the hands. The same sort of motion can be used in the course of flirtation: looking over something that’s held in front of the mouth amounts to peeking out from hiding, which a lot of women instinctively do when they’re looking at a man who has aroused their interest.
And of course, there’s one more thing a woman does with her mouth that can be very communicative indeed: talking. That isn’t body language, but it should always be kept in mind because the two forms of communication naturally go together. In the end, verbal communication sends the confirming signal.
If you’ve read her correctly, what she says will confirm it. But if you haven’t – even when you see pretty clear signs in her behavior that are denied by what she’s telling you in words – go by her words. That’s only respectful.
Americans live in an unusually touch-averse culture. It is quite impolite in mainstream American society to touch someone without an invitation except in the most superficial ways, or when it’s unavoidable (and in the latter case, an apology is usually in order).
It’s against this cultural backdrop that touching becomes such a useful signal, particularly in the early stages right after the introduction, that a woman finds you attractive. Once you know someone well, American culture allows more in the way of social touching, but initially she is overcoming barriers to do it (as are you).
Firstly, and most innocently, there’s the “hand-in-hand” or “hand-on-arm” touch. Note that neither this nor any of the other touching mentioned here will be a prolonged touch. She isn’t holding your hand, just patting it or touching it lightly in passing. This can be done in several ways.
For example, suppose you’re between her and the punch bowl and she asks you to refill her drink for her. She might contrive to brush your hand with hers as she passes you her cup or takes it back.
She might make a particularly expansive gesture and brush your hand or arm in the course of it. (If that happens, does she apologize? If she does, that means the touching probably was an accident.)
One such incident doesn’t mean much at all. What you want to look for is a pattern of repeated touching, along with signs that it was deliberate rather than accidental. In fact, that’s a good rule to follow when interpreting body language in general.
Another thing that’s important to recognize here is that, while mainstream American culture is highly touch-averse, there are subcultures within the society that are less so.
Hispanic culture, some other immigrant groups and cultural descendants of the counterculture movements of the 1960s and 1970s all exhibit more willingness to touch each other socially and sometimes other behavioral differences that can make interpreting signals more difficult.
(One man of our acquaintance had a highly attractive female housemate who not only hugged him frequently but also thought nothing of parading around the home in the nude. Her interest in him, alas, was purely platonic. Her “touchy-feely” cultural background gave her a different baseline for such behavior that was common in American society, leading to misunderstanding).
Aside from potential culture-based misinterpretations, you can reasonably recognize an attraction on a woman’s part when she:
• Repeatedly and frequently touches your hand, wrist, arm, elbow, shoulder or knee during the conversation.
• Finds excuses to touch your face or hair, which is more intimate and invasive than touching your extremities.
• Invites you to touch her in some way – to feel her forehead for a sign of fever, to hold her hand while examining the lines on it, to feel the ridge of a surgery scar, to feel how smooth her skin is due to using of some lotion or treatment, and so on.
As with all other body language signals, touching has to be interpreted in the overall context of other nonverbal (and verbal) signals she’s sending. Still, touching is a pretty solid signal, if it’s done often and repeatedly.
What Kind of Smile?
You need to consider just what kind of smile it is. Women observe things differently that's why you need to understand the female mind.
First, let’s look at the parts of the smile. These include more than just the lips. Consider:
• Lips – open or closed? Can you see her teeth? (Note: this is not a sure sign; some people don’t like showing their teeth because they think them unsightly; as a rule, though, a wide smile that shows the teeth is more sincere and inviting than a closed-lipped smile.) Can you see her tongue from time to time?
• Jaw muscles – Basically, the more of the face is involved in a smile, the more sincere it is. If she’s really amused, happy or excited by your company, her facial and jaw muscles will get into the act and show the effect in the shape of her face.
• Eyes – In particular, if a smile is sincere and not “pasted on,” it will show in her eyes, with little crinkles forming at the corners and the eyes opening wider.
A smile that seems forced or merely the minimum consistent with politeness is definitely not a good sign. We can see this in a couple of different ways.
Sometimes she will smile briefly, perhaps with a little forced, nervous giggle, before the smile disappears or she hides it by taking a drink. Sometimes she will smile in a rigid way, with the lips not moving and the muscles of the face held stiffly.
This shows that she is bored with your company or even actively dislikes you, but not enough to do something overt and discourteous.
RELATED: Non-Verbal Signs Of Falling In Love >>>
The main thing to look for is whether the smile seems to be reflected not just in her eyes, but in the rest of her face and her body as well.
Is she animated, moving a lot, her attention focused on you, with a smile that changes often as she responds to your conversation (verbally or otherwise)? Or is she stock-still, blinking often or looking elsewhere, with a pasted-on smile that looks like she has to remember to keep it there? These are among the best clues as to whether she is interested in you or not.
If she does, she’ll be attentive and either relaxed or keyed-up in a way that indicates excitement. If not, she’ll be the opposite.
The type of smile is important but equally important is the frequency of the smiles turned in your direction. A woman who is interested in you will smile a lot when she’s paying attention to you.
Often, this will go beyond smiling to laughter. Don’t neglect the “giggle factor” when making your assessment! This is of course especially true if your conversation or behavior is designed to make people laugh, as it often is in social situations.
How readily does she laugh at your jokes? Does her laugh seem to emerge spontaneously and readily from the backdrop of her smile, or is it forced? (This is the same consideration as applies to the smile itself.)
When you’ve interacted with a woman a few times, it’s definitely a good sign if she lights up with a high-wattage smile when she first sees you, especially if she seems to do that more in your direction than in those of others.
As always, though, bear in mind that some women are simply more gregarious than others.
Look for how she behaves towards you that is different from the way she behaves towards others, or that seems pronounced compared to her normal baseline.
That she smiles to see you doesn’t mean anything if she smiles to see everyone unless her smile is bigger, more sincere or more frequent when it’s turned in your direction than it is normally. Besides smiling, there are other things that a woman’s mouth can do that are flirtatious and signs of interest.
These include:
• Parted lips. This is an especially good indicator if the smile is not really big. The reason that is so is that a big, wide smile will part the lips naturally and without much significance. A woman experiencing a degree of sexual arousal, on the other hand, is likely to have slightly parted lips even when she is not smiling, or when she is smiling only slightly. Exactly why is one of those things, like the pupil-dilation response, that is not known; it could be that parted lips mimic an aroused vulva and so are intended by instinct to convey a signal of availability. That’s plausible – but there’s no real evidence for it. Regardless, the signal is real and usually reliable.
• Licking the lips. We’re not talking about anything crude or blatant here; just an occasional flick of the tongue over the lips to keep them moist. As with parted lips, this may be an instinctive signal because of the resemblance to an aroused vulva. Again, though, there’s no real evidence for this, it just makes logical sense. On the other hand, it may be because of the excitement of being in your company makes her just a touch nervous, and licking the lips is a nervous gesture. (Remember, though, there’s good and bad nervousness. If she’s licking her lips a lot and seems agitated and worried, that eliminates most of the good indication from the tongue action.) Either way, if she does this, it’s a sign you’ve had an effect on her – for good or bad.
• Breathing rate. All right, this is not lips per se, but when a woman is experiencing arousal and excitement, her heart rate and rate of breath will increase, and this, too, can cause the lips to open, and also dry the lips occasioning moistening them with her tongue – it all hangs together.
• Putting things in her mouth. A woman may put something in her mouth – other than to eat or drink, of course – and gently suck or chew it as a sign of interest or arousal much like the hand movement on a drinking glass mentioned above. Now, just to be clear, usually, this is not anything crude or obvious – not like she’s simulating fellatio – but more a sort of rhythmic fiddling using the mouth as well as the hands. The same sort of motion can be used in the course of flirtation: looking over something that’s held in front of the mouth amounts to peeking out from hiding, which a lot of women instinctively do when they’re looking at a man who has aroused their interest.
And of course, there’s one more thing a woman does with her mouth that can be very communicative indeed: talking. That isn’t body language, but it should always be kept in mind because the two forms of communication naturally go together. In the end, verbal communication sends the confirming signal.
If you’ve read her correctly, what she says will confirm it. But if you haven’t – even when you see pretty clear signs in her behavior that are denied by what she’s telling you in words – go by her words. That’s only respectful.
Legs And Feet
Although not as expressive as the eyes, hands, and mouth, the position of a woman’s feet and legs, and how she moves them, also convey interest or disinterest.
A woman who is standing and talking to a man she’s attracted to usually places most of her weight on one foot with her legs somewhat apart. She’ll have a more closed-leg stance if the interest isn’t there.
Parting her legs is obviously something she would do in bed with you, and if she does it somewhat when facing you and talking to you, that indicates interest. On the other hand, if she keeps her legs close together so as to protect her intimate zones from your attention, that indicates to the contrary.
Watch out also for what her feet are doing:
• She might engage in what’s known by body language experts as “pigeon toes”. If she rotates her feet inwards, that denotes pretty guaranteed interest: it shows that she feels both attracted to and intimidated by you, as we often do when we’re opening ourselves up to the risk of rejection or simply in the presence of someone we admire.
• Alternatively, she might stand with her toes pointing outwards and her hands behind her back, much like a soldier does when told to stand at ease. The military connotation is important here because this gesture is aloof and demands that you keep your distance.
The legs, and especially the thighs, are also a very sensitive erogenous zone. Remember that whatever she touches repeatedly on her own body is likely to be something that, at least on some level, she is imaging someone else touching. Of course – and this really shouldn’t need saying, but unfortunately, it does – that should not be taken as an invitation to immediately do so. Subtlety is always key.
When a woman sits down, note how she positions her legs. The signs here are somewhat different than when she is standing due to conventions of politeness but, if she sits primly with her knees parallel and legs together, she’s most likely not really interested in any of the men in the room (including you).
Crossing her legs, one knee over the other, is a more hopeful sign, especially if she also rocks the upper leg back and forth or strokes one of her thighs. (Some women can actually use the motion of their crossed legs to masturbate gently.)
Pay attention to where the upper knee is pointing. Is it pointing in your direction? That’s a good sign. The same is true of where her toes are pointing.
One of the strongest signs of attraction is if she crosses her legs and rocks the upper leg while her shoe dangles half off that foot, pointed in your direction.
(It’s not such a good sign if it’s pointed in some other guy’s direction, needless to say.) Another strong sign is if she sits with one leg tucked under the other and points the folded leg towards you. When she does that, she’s conveying that she feels comfortable with you and would like to get to know you better.
In general, feet, knees, and legs are pointers, just like hands and eyes. Whatever a woman is pointing in your direction is a sign of interest, and if it’s accompanied by other positive signs, this all adds up to positive interest. (If it’s not accompanied by positive signs, it still indicates interest, just not the kind you want.)
A woman who is standing and talking to a man she’s attracted to usually places most of her weight on one foot with her legs somewhat apart. She’ll have a more closed-leg stance if the interest isn’t there.
Parting her legs is obviously something she would do in bed with you, and if she does it somewhat when facing you and talking to you, that indicates interest. On the other hand, if she keeps her legs close together so as to protect her intimate zones from your attention, that indicates to the contrary.
Watch out also for what her feet are doing:
• She might engage in what’s known by body language experts as “pigeon toes”. If she rotates her feet inwards, that denotes pretty guaranteed interest: it shows that she feels both attracted to and intimidated by you, as we often do when we’re opening ourselves up to the risk of rejection or simply in the presence of someone we admire.
• Alternatively, she might stand with her toes pointing outwards and her hands behind her back, much like a soldier does when told to stand at ease. The military connotation is important here because this gesture is aloof and demands that you keep your distance.
The legs, and especially the thighs, are also a very sensitive erogenous zone. Remember that whatever she touches repeatedly on her own body is likely to be something that, at least on some level, she is imaging someone else touching. Of course – and this really shouldn’t need saying, but unfortunately, it does – that should not be taken as an invitation to immediately do so. Subtlety is always key.
When a woman sits down, note how she positions her legs. The signs here are somewhat different than when she is standing due to conventions of politeness but, if she sits primly with her knees parallel and legs together, she’s most likely not really interested in any of the men in the room (including you).
Crossing her legs, one knee over the other, is a more hopeful sign, especially if she also rocks the upper leg back and forth or strokes one of her thighs. (Some women can actually use the motion of their crossed legs to masturbate gently.)
Pay attention to where the upper knee is pointing. Is it pointing in your direction? That’s a good sign. The same is true of where her toes are pointing.
One of the strongest signs of attraction is if she crosses her legs and rocks the upper leg while her shoe dangles half off that foot, pointed in your direction.
(It’s not such a good sign if it’s pointed in some other guy’s direction, needless to say.) Another strong sign is if she sits with one leg tucked under the other and points the folded leg towards you. When she does that, she’s conveying that she feels comfortable with you and would like to get to know you better.
In general, feet, knees, and legs are pointers, just like hands and eyes. Whatever a woman is pointing in your direction is a sign of interest, and if it’s accompanied by other positive signs, this all adds up to positive interest. (If it’s not accompanied by positive signs, it still indicates interest, just not the kind you want.)
Mirroring Body Language
One final and rather a subtle cue that a woman is interested in you comes from a type of body language known as “mirroring.” This happens when someone unconsciously adopts the same postures, signals and other body languages that you are using.
This applies not only to body posture and movements but also, and perhaps most critically, to the tone of voice, inflections, even accents.
It applies to the rate of speech (fast or slow), dialect choices, pattern phrases, typical gestures and postures, all of this happening unconsciously for the most part.
If a woman adjusts her vocal tones and body language during the course of a conversation to closely match the ones you are using, she certainly finds you interesting in one way or another. Along with some other signals, it may suggest she is interested sexually. One has to be careful with this signal as one does with all signals, of course. All that mirroring indicates for certain is that she finds you personally interesting. Her interests may not be sexual or romantic at all.
She may simply like you as a person and want to be friends. However, liking you as a person and wanting to be friends are usually prerequisites to wanting a sexual encounter or a romantic relationship, so this is certainly something that should be looked for.
(Some women are sometimes on the prowl just for sex. It’s rarer in women than in men, but it does happen. Even then, she’s likely to mirror your body language instinctively, just as a way to draw your interest – if you’re the one she wants.)
While we’re on the subject of mirroring and hence of your own behavior, that brings up a general note. A woman is sending these signals not only to convey the fact that she is interested but also to fish for some indication as to whether or not you are. It’s important to learn how to convey your own interest, and also how not to.
If you close up too much for fear of being offensive or out of fear of rejection, she’ll think you don’t find her attractive. On the other hand, if you act in a way that she hasn’t invited or that isn’t appropriate in the social context then, even if she was interested a minute ago, it can change her mind.
Learning to read a woman’s signals is an important part of deciding whether to signal back, how to signal back and how much. It’s tricky, but there’s one thing you can always do safely, and that’s to offer a polite compliment. Even if she isn’t interested, she won’t be offended. If she is, she’ll be encouraged.
This applies not only to body posture and movements but also, and perhaps most critically, to the tone of voice, inflections, even accents.
It applies to the rate of speech (fast or slow), dialect choices, pattern phrases, typical gestures and postures, all of this happening unconsciously for the most part.
If a woman adjusts her vocal tones and body language during the course of a conversation to closely match the ones you are using, she certainly finds you interesting in one way or another. Along with some other signals, it may suggest she is interested sexually. One has to be careful with this signal as one does with all signals, of course. All that mirroring indicates for certain is that she finds you personally interesting. Her interests may not be sexual or romantic at all.
She may simply like you as a person and want to be friends. However, liking you as a person and wanting to be friends are usually prerequisites to wanting a sexual encounter or a romantic relationship, so this is certainly something that should be looked for.
(Some women are sometimes on the prowl just for sex. It’s rarer in women than in men, but it does happen. Even then, she’s likely to mirror your body language instinctively, just as a way to draw your interest – if you’re the one she wants.)
While we’re on the subject of mirroring and hence of your own behavior, that brings up a general note. A woman is sending these signals not only to convey the fact that she is interested but also to fish for some indication as to whether or not you are. It’s important to learn how to convey your own interest, and also how not to.
If you close up too much for fear of being offensive or out of fear of rejection, she’ll think you don’t find her attractive. On the other hand, if you act in a way that she hasn’t invited or that isn’t appropriate in the social context then, even if she was interested a minute ago, it can change her mind.
Learning to read a woman’s signals is an important part of deciding whether to signal back, how to signal back and how much. It’s tricky, but there’s one thing you can always do safely, and that’s to offer a polite compliment. Even if she isn’t interested, she won’t be offended. If she is, she’ll be encouraged.
Body Language On The Dance Floor
All of the above involves social situations where standing or sitting and talking are the expected behavior, as well as eating and drinking. The rules are somewhat different on the dance floor.
If she accepts your invitation to dance, that by itself doesn’t mean a lot. She might accept the invitation simply because it’s polite to do so. (If she declines it, however, that may say something in the negative, unless you can determine that she just doesn’t dance.)
A degree of touching and bumping is accepted on the dance floor when it wouldn’t be in the ordinary conversation. You could touch her and get away with it as part of the dance, especially if it takes the form of a recognizable dance move. At the same time, she can be more flirtatious while dancing that would be acceptable otherwise.
Look at her eye movements. Is she watching you while she dances, particularly your eyes to make sure you are watching her? Does she seem to be dancing with you in more than a formal sense? Is she going out of her way to be sexy and to touch you in her movements? Or is she effectively dancing alone with minimal movements, no eye contact, and positioning of her arms and legs so as to protect and cover her vital zones?
You can’t tell much about her state of mind by whether or not she agrees to dance with you, but you can tell a lot by how she does it. For instance:
• Is she looking to make eye contact with you while you dance, or trying to look away? The former is better news than the latter.
• Is she smiling, laughing and singing along with the music? That indicates relaxation and enjoyment, while her eyes roaming the room, tense shoulders and not much fluidity to her movement suggests the opposite.
• Is she being playful with her moves, going outside the “usual” steps and movements you would see someone perform to the songs being played? The more she’s improvising and showing off, the more she’s probably enjoying herself with you.
• Is she focusing on her own dance moves or making an effort to partner with yours? If she’s staying close, focusing on your moves and emulating or complementing them and being particularly sensitive to what you’re doing, then she’s dancing with you rather than near you.
If she accepts your invitation to dance, that by itself doesn’t mean a lot. She might accept the invitation simply because it’s polite to do so. (If she declines it, however, that may say something in the negative, unless you can determine that she just doesn’t dance.)
A degree of touching and bumping is accepted on the dance floor when it wouldn’t be in the ordinary conversation. You could touch her and get away with it as part of the dance, especially if it takes the form of a recognizable dance move. At the same time, she can be more flirtatious while dancing that would be acceptable otherwise.
Look at her eye movements. Is she watching you while she dances, particularly your eyes to make sure you are watching her? Does she seem to be dancing with you in more than a formal sense? Is she going out of her way to be sexy and to touch you in her movements? Or is she effectively dancing alone with minimal movements, no eye contact, and positioning of her arms and legs so as to protect and cover her vital zones?
You can’t tell much about her state of mind by whether or not she agrees to dance with you, but you can tell a lot by how she does it. For instance:
• Is she looking to make eye contact with you while you dance, or trying to look away? The former is better news than the latter.
• Is she smiling, laughing and singing along with the music? That indicates relaxation and enjoyment, while her eyes roaming the room, tense shoulders and not much fluidity to her movement suggests the opposite.
• Is she being playful with her moves, going outside the “usual” steps and movements you would see someone perform to the songs being played? The more she’s improvising and showing off, the more she’s probably enjoying herself with you.
• Is she focusing on her own dance moves or making an effort to partner with yours? If she’s staying close, focusing on your moves and emulating or complementing them and being particularly sensitive to what you’re doing, then she’s dancing with you rather than near you.
What Signals Are You Sending?
While paying all this attention to what signals she’s sending, it’s important not to neglect your own. Remember, you may be fascinated with this woman and think she’s the most exciting and desirable creature ever placed on the planet for the admiration of man, but just because you know that doesn’t mean she does. A woman is in as insecure a position as you are.
She feels an attraction to a man – well, that’s great, but there are a lot of ways she could get hurt by it, from rejection to disappointment. In most cases, she’s going to approach the matter cautiously and reveal her interest only in deniable ways. That can be uncomfortable for you (assuming you return her interest) because it’s hard to be sure where she’s coming from.
(Harder still because, in the beginning, she doesn’t really know herself: she doesn’t know you well enough to know if her initial interest is going to continue.)
You can help matters a lot by politely confirming your interest in her. Give her your best smile. Stand on the border of her personal zone and lean in. Find an excuse to touch her politely.
Pay attention to what she says. Take a little risk. What’s the worst that can happen? She’ll signal that she’s not interested in you that way and you’ll be disappointed. If that’s going to happen, isn’t it better to get it out of the way early?
But if you communicate your interest (always in a non-threatening way), you’ll be doing the lady a favor. You’ll be telling her she’s desirable and encouraging her to let her own interest show, by giving her the idea that it probably won’t be rejected.
Body language isn’t just a way to “read” another person. It’s a conversation, just like regular verbal language is. To get the most out of it, you need to hold up your own end of the discussion.
The signals she’s sending fall into distinct categories, and each one is important in deciphering her overall meaning. When you spot certain body language signals happening often and consistently, you can begin to assume:
Availability: If she’s communicating to you that she’s available, she’ll be displaying openness with her body language. She’ll keep her arms uncrossed, as well as her legs, and keep her gaze on you rather than down at the table or her feet.
Fertility: Certain signals are naturally more attractive to men because they indicate a woman is fertile – and, because of that, a woman is hard-wired to do them automatically if she’s sexually interested. If she’s kept her hair down, tilted her head to expose her pheromones to you and kept her wrists visible to show you the skin, she’s instinctively trying to attract you and therefore may well be interested.
Engagement: We use plenty of social signals to tell another person we’re interested in. If she’s leaning towards you, keeping her eyes locked on yours and keeping relatively still, without glancing elsewhere and becoming easily distracted, she’s trying to communicate her interest in you and/or what you’re saying. That doesn’t necessarily mean she’s interested in a romantic way, but she’s at least engaged in your conversation.
Interest: Again, her body language might be telling you she’s interested in getting to know you on at least some level. To feel confident of that, look for head tilting in particular – we do this automatically when we’re listening closely, as though to position ourselves to hear the speaker better. The more interested, the bigger the tilt.
She feels an attraction to a man – well, that’s great, but there are a lot of ways she could get hurt by it, from rejection to disappointment. In most cases, she’s going to approach the matter cautiously and reveal her interest only in deniable ways. That can be uncomfortable for you (assuming you return her interest) because it’s hard to be sure where she’s coming from.
(Harder still because, in the beginning, she doesn’t really know herself: she doesn’t know you well enough to know if her initial interest is going to continue.)
You can help matters a lot by politely confirming your interest in her. Give her your best smile. Stand on the border of her personal zone and lean in. Find an excuse to touch her politely.
Pay attention to what she says. Take a little risk. What’s the worst that can happen? She’ll signal that she’s not interested in you that way and you’ll be disappointed. If that’s going to happen, isn’t it better to get it out of the way early?
But if you communicate your interest (always in a non-threatening way), you’ll be doing the lady a favor. You’ll be telling her she’s desirable and encouraging her to let her own interest show, by giving her the idea that it probably won’t be rejected.
Body language isn’t just a way to “read” another person. It’s a conversation, just like regular verbal language is. To get the most out of it, you need to hold up your own end of the discussion.
important: If you want to seduce a woman without alerting her to the fact that she is getting irrevocably drawn to you, you have to do the seduction process carefully and in the most subtle way possible.
To be able to do this, you must learn the hidden psychological prompts inside a woman's mind and use these to your advantage.
CONCLUSION
Put together, the signals we’ve been looking at in this article will be communicating several very important messages – if, that is, she’s really interested in you, and she’d like to do something about it.The signals she’s sending fall into distinct categories, and each one is important in deciphering her overall meaning. When you spot certain body language signals happening often and consistently, you can begin to assume:
Availability: If she’s communicating to you that she’s available, she’ll be displaying openness with her body language. She’ll keep her arms uncrossed, as well as her legs, and keep her gaze on you rather than down at the table or her feet.
Fertility: Certain signals are naturally more attractive to men because they indicate a woman is fertile – and, because of that, a woman is hard-wired to do them automatically if she’s sexually interested. If she’s kept her hair down, tilted her head to expose her pheromones to you and kept her wrists visible to show you the skin, she’s instinctively trying to attract you and therefore may well be interested.
Engagement: We use plenty of social signals to tell another person we’re interested in. If she’s leaning towards you, keeping her eyes locked on yours and keeping relatively still, without glancing elsewhere and becoming easily distracted, she’s trying to communicate her interest in you and/or what you’re saying. That doesn’t necessarily mean she’s interested in a romantic way, but she’s at least engaged in your conversation.
Interest: Again, her body language might be telling you she’s interested in getting to know you on at least some level. To feel confident of that, look for head tilting in particular – we do this automatically when we’re listening closely, as though to position ourselves to hear the speaker better. The more interested, the bigger the tilt.
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