How To Approach a Lady For The First Time
One of the biggest personal obstacles in the dating game is very the first step: the approach itself. It is the hardest part because psychologically speaking, it is the most painful one.
Remember when you saw this very attractive young woman standing at the bar and you wanted to walk up to her, chat her up and get her number so you could meet her again?
Remember when you saw this very attractive young woman standing at the bar and you wanted to walk up to her, chat her up and get her number so you could meet her again?
But as soon as you wanted to move your legs forward in her direction … you just couldn’t do it. You froze up. It was almost like a blackout.
Your stomach was going nuts, your heart started beating so loud you could actually hear it pumping through your chest and your mouth just wouldn’t open.
Feels very familiar, huh?
What is going on here? Why men are scared shitless when a beautiful woman crosses their path. Why do men tremble at a woman’s good looks?
Their only women for crying out loud!
So what’s the big deal? Is it fear of rejection? Is it because you don’t want to make a fool out of yourself? Is it because it doesn’t do your ego any good if you get shot down?
In this article, I want to make sure you understand all the secret background and psychology that is really going on here … and what to do about it.
Fear Of Rejection – The Roots
So what makes men getting scared to approach a lady for the first time and getting scared of the possibility of being rejected by a beautiful woman?
See, if there is this ugly, fat, disgusting broad staring at you from across the room…you wouldn’t really have an issue going over there and say “Hi, what’s up?” right? Quite frankly, you wouldn’t really give a shit either.
The reason for not feeling that weird and annoying emotional tickle in your stomach is not because you suddenly became more confident, but simply because you do not give a wooden nickel about her…she’s just not that attractive to you so you are like “whatever…”
So why does exactly the opposite happen when someone attractive crosses your path?
Wouldn’t it be absolutely amazing if you had the same calmness and coolness just when trying to talk to someone you didn’t really care or give a shit about?
So when being confronted by a good looking woman you find attractive, you become nervous. Why? Simply because you think she is hot and you really want her. But that doesn’t help you conquer that fear, does it?
So why do you become nervous in the first place apart from just saying to yourself “man, she is smoking hot, I got to do something”.
First, you have to understand what makes you stall. What is it that makes you not go over there and talk to her?
Let’s get to the bottom of this problem so we can effectively deal with it. The roots of your fear of rejection are based on 2 factors:
♥ Low self-esteem
♥ Lack of confidence
Now don’t throw the kitchen sink at me because I may have accused you of being of low self-esteem and not confident enough. We need to deal with the problem by identifying it first. We have now done that, so let’s break it down.
You see, you may think that this stunning woman over there just is out of your league and you aren’t right for her just because you aren’t tall, handsome or own a nice car.
This is complete horseshit.
Now it’s very obvious that by acting confident, women think you are sexy. The first step for you would be to get over there or wait for a woman to walk by you…and then just open your mouth and say “Hey!” so she turns around and faces you.
This all sounds very simple and to tell you the truth…it really is! This game is very, very simple! It isn’t easy but rather difficult for a lot of folks, otherwise, anybody could do it with the snap of two fingers. But still, everything is simple!
The main reason why guys blow it right here in the beginning (while opening their mouth) is just that the woman detects you are not confident and may lack low self-esteem.
She sniffed you out man!
Do you want to know how they do this?
Well, first of all, women are very good at analyzing a man’s body language…far better than we men are.
Now, if you are lacking a little bit of the self-esteem and confidence department, you will verbally and non-verbally communicate that to her.
Within 30 seconds she will know what you are about, and she can almost decide if you are hot … or not. All this is based on one simple factor:
Do you come off as “insecure”?
Let me illustrate: You see, a woman will know just by looking at you and listening for just a couple of seconds if you are sexy or just another wimpy nice guy.
So what makes them render this decision? Simple: They judge you based on indicators of insecurity…
INDICATORS OF INSECURITY
♦ You hesitate
♦ Acting nervous
♦ Stuttering and mumbling
♦ Talking way too fast
♦ Waving your hands
♦ Looking at the floor or past her
♦ Not knowing what to say
Acting exactly like any other boring guy she met before Okay, let’s have a look at how all this translates into the real world.
See, if there is this ugly, fat, disgusting broad staring at you from across the room…you wouldn’t really have an issue going over there and say “Hi, what’s up?” right? Quite frankly, you wouldn’t really give a shit either.
The reason for not feeling that weird and annoying emotional tickle in your stomach is not because you suddenly became more confident, but simply because you do not give a wooden nickel about her…she’s just not that attractive to you so you are like “whatever…”
RELATED: Things Woman Wants In Man >>>
So why does exactly the opposite happen when someone attractive crosses your path?
Wouldn’t it be absolutely amazing if you had the same calmness and coolness just when trying to talk to someone you didn’t really care or give a shit about?
So when being confronted by a good looking woman you find attractive, you become nervous. Why? Simply because you think she is hot and you really want her. But that doesn’t help you conquer that fear, does it?
So why do you become nervous in the first place apart from just saying to yourself “man, she is smoking hot, I got to do something”.
First, you have to understand what makes you stall. What is it that makes you not go over there and talk to her?
Let’s get to the bottom of this problem so we can effectively deal with it. The roots of your fear of rejection are based on 2 factors:
♥ Low self-esteem
♥ Lack of confidence
Now don’t throw the kitchen sink at me because I may have accused you of being of low self-esteem and not confident enough. We need to deal with the problem by identifying it first. We have now done that, so let’s break it down.
You see, you may think that this stunning woman over there just is out of your league and you aren’t right for her just because you aren’t tall, handsome or own a nice car.
This is complete horseshit.
Now it’s very obvious that by acting confident, women think you are sexy. The first step for you would be to get over there or wait for a woman to walk by you…and then just open your mouth and say “Hey!” so she turns around and faces you.
This all sounds very simple and to tell you the truth…it really is! This game is very, very simple! It isn’t easy but rather difficult for a lot of folks, otherwise, anybody could do it with the snap of two fingers. But still, everything is simple!
The main reason why guys blow it right here in the beginning (while opening their mouth) is just that the woman detects you are not confident and may lack low self-esteem.
She sniffed you out man!
Do you want to know how they do this?
Well, first of all, women are very good at analyzing a man’s body language…far better than we men are.
Now, if you are lacking a little bit of the self-esteem and confidence department, you will verbally and non-verbally communicate that to her.
Within 30 seconds she will know what you are about, and she can almost decide if you are hot … or not. All this is based on one simple factor:
Do you come off as “insecure”?
Let me illustrate: You see, a woman will know just by looking at you and listening for just a couple of seconds if you are sexy or just another wimpy nice guy.
So what makes them render this decision? Simple: They judge you based on indicators of insecurity…
INDICATORS OF INSECURITY
♦ You hesitate
♦ Acting nervous
♦ Stuttering and mumbling
♦ Talking way too fast
♦ Waving your hands
♦ Looking at the floor or past her
♦ Not knowing what to say
Acting exactly like any other boring guy she met before Okay, let’s have a look at how all this translates into the real world.
INDICATORS OF INSECURITY
HESITATION
Let’s say you are standing at the other end of the bar and are checking her out. She catches you and maybe even smiles. Now what’s important here is to read between the lines and decode the girl-language.
If you look away, she will think you aren’t interested anymore. If you keep staring she will know but…if you do not go over there, she will know you aren’t that confident to talk and approach women.
Let me tell you again: Women will know! They know if you keep looking and they also know when you should have made your move. you need to understand how the female mind works.
If you look away, she will think you aren’t interested anymore. If you keep staring she will know but…if you do not go over there, she will know you aren’t that confident to talk and approach women.
Let me tell you again: Women will know! They know if you keep looking and they also know when you should have made your move. you need to understand how the female mind works.
But if she knows you kept ogling and didn’t talk to her even though she left the door wide open, you hesitated and came off as insecure.
NERVOUSNESS
Everybody detects if someone is nervous. Your heartbeat can be heard from miles away, you show anxiety and are breathing heavily.
Acting nervous really is a very crucial factor that determines how far you will get with a woman within the first 2-3 minutes: Even though some girls think it’s cute if a guy acts a bit shy and is a little nervous, the majority of good-looking women don’t find it sexy? Why? Because they have a choice!
They don’t go for every guy that approaches them, so they are picky. And if you are picky, you generally only select the ones that are hard to come by and are unique.
That’s why women who can choose a pool of men always go for the most genuine ones, the ones who possess the most personality traits women are looking for.
If you get approached by 10 different women a day, you would certainly only pick the really hot ones and ditch the rest, right? Same thing when it comes to women.
So many guys completely overlook how much improvement can be done here. You do not need to be a perfect linguist or be able to speak flawlessly like an actor in a blockbuster movie. But, the better you are, the sexier your voice comes across.
You see, if you mumble, not only doesn’t anybody understand you and ask you to repeat what you’ve just said…it also makes you look unattractive in a woman’s eyes. Stuttering is the verbal and outer result of being nervous inside.
It’s like a chain reaction from the start where you hesitate until you finally walk up to her, open your mouth and can hardly say anything. No wonder you get blown out with a friendly “it was nice talking to you, bye”.
Sometimes you are so eager to say what you have planned and crafter for literally minutes inside your head that when you do say it, you trip over your own tongue. You really have to take a deep breath, calm down and say it with a deep, slow, and sexy voice.
You see, there is no rush. Actually, the slower you say it, the more attentively she will listen to you. You don’t need to spit your sentence at her just so you are finished.
Take it easy and talk slowly, it’s much sexier that way. Also, it does reduce the chances of screwing it up due to stuttering and mumbling. Just count to three inside your head, and try to be as cool as ice.
Acting nervous really is a very crucial factor that determines how far you will get with a woman within the first 2-3 minutes: Even though some girls think it’s cute if a guy acts a bit shy and is a little nervous, the majority of good-looking women don’t find it sexy? Why? Because they have a choice!
They don’t go for every guy that approaches them, so they are picky. And if you are picky, you generally only select the ones that are hard to come by and are unique.
That’s why women who can choose a pool of men always go for the most genuine ones, the ones who possess the most personality traits women are looking for.
If you get approached by 10 different women a day, you would certainly only pick the really hot ones and ditch the rest, right? Same thing when it comes to women.
STUTTERING AND MUMBLING
You see, if you mumble, not only doesn’t anybody understand you and ask you to repeat what you’ve just said…it also makes you look unattractive in a woman’s eyes. Stuttering is the verbal and outer result of being nervous inside.
It’s like a chain reaction from the start where you hesitate until you finally walk up to her, open your mouth and can hardly say anything. No wonder you get blown out with a friendly “it was nice talking to you, bye”.
TALKING TOO FAST
You see, there is no rush. Actually, the slower you say it, the more attentively she will listen to you. You don’t need to spit your sentence at her just so you are finished.
Take it easy and talk slowly, it’s much sexier that way. Also, it does reduce the chances of screwing it up due to stuttering and mumbling. Just count to three inside your head, and try to be as cool as ice.
WAVING YOUR HANDS
Now look, I know that you should put some emphasis on enthusiasm while talking, but if you aren’t of Italian descent, keep your hands low.
If you want to make it worse, start laughing at your own jokes…it will just add salt to an already gone sour pick-up attempt.
If you want to make it worse, start laughing at your own jokes…it will just add salt to an already gone sour pick-up attempt.
If you want to be perceived as a cool and sexy guy, you have to come off as naturally as possible, so make sure you talk with enthusiasm instead of acting all over the place.
The least you want to do is come off as a try-hard who also acts like he desperately needs it. There’s no need, so use your mouth instead of your hands…for now, that is *evil grin*.
Another fine example of insecurity is when you can’t look her straight in the eye. If you are trying to avoid eye- contact while talking to her, you definitely have one foot in the coffin.
A common example is when you start to look at the floor or past her head, start scratching your neck, beard etc...
Do you know what this tells a woman? Simply that you aren’t comfortable with the situation you are in right now, namely talking to a woman. Ouch!
The least you want to do is come off as a try-hard who also acts like he desperately needs it. There’s no need, so use your mouth instead of your hands…for now, that is *evil grin*.
LOOKING AROUND
A common example is when you start to look at the floor or past her head, start scratching your neck, beard etc...
Do you know what this tells a woman? Simply that you aren’t comfortable with the situation you are in right now, namely talking to a woman. Ouch!
NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY
No wonder you hesitate, get nervous, and come off as insecure if you don’t know what to say. I advise you to watch this advanced video of How SHE Wants You To Approach HER _ 7 Tips For Approaching Girls You Don't Know
The video concerning what to actually say to a woman, but I want to make sure you get this: If you are staring at an empty wall with zero material or lines, of course, you do get nervous.
I mean, you don’t know what to expect from the woman once you’ve said something you just made up on the spot. The job is to remove this shadow of doubt and replace it with proven lines that get a laugh all the time.
Look, one of the most common reasons why men do not walk up to woman is simply because they don’t know what to say…or better: They don’t know what will get a woman’s attention, what will make her laugh and what will make her think you are sexy so she gives you her number.
Do you see what I’m getting at here? If you are left alone in the dark, you start feeling uncomfortable right? When you were a kid and you had to get down to the scary basement to get restock the fridge with soft-drinks…you got a little scared.
It’s also not a big secret that people get scared of deep and dark waters simply because of not knowing what to expect.
Why would approaching women be any different? But The video of How SHE Wants You To Approach HER _ 7 Tips For Approaching Girls You Don't Know will definitely supply you with all the tools you need so don’t worry.
The video concerning what to actually say to a woman, but I want to make sure you get this: If you are staring at an empty wall with zero material or lines, of course, you do get nervous.
I mean, you don’t know what to expect from the woman once you’ve said something you just made up on the spot. The job is to remove this shadow of doubt and replace it with proven lines that get a laugh all the time.
Look, one of the most common reasons why men do not walk up to woman is simply because they don’t know what to say…or better: They don’t know what will get a woman’s attention, what will make her laugh and what will make her think you are sexy so she gives you her number.
It’s also not a big secret that people get scared of deep and dark waters simply because of not knowing what to expect.
Why would approaching women be any different? But The video of How SHE Wants You To Approach HER _ 7 Tips For Approaching Girls You Don't Know will definitely supply you with all the tools you need so don’t worry.
ACTING INDIFFERENT
Now, this is mainly something that belongs to another technic as it covers what you should say to a woman once you have approached her.
But the basics are still the same while approaching: If you do what everybody else does, then what makes you think you will get anywhere? So many guys walk up to a girl, tap her on the shoulder and say “excuse me…err…” This just won’t work.
Maybe it has worked 300 years ago I don’t know, but paying compliments and acting all nicely nice doesn’t get you anywhere in the 21st century when trying to chat up an attractive woman.
Some may disagree here, but I know what I am talking about. If you act like every other boring guy she has met before, don’t set your expectations too high. because Words are powerful and they can be used to plant images in a woman's mind.
We have now identified the problem and covered the most important factors that will screw it up for you.
So How to approach a lady for the first time? how do get solve this problem of acting nervous and coming off as insecure? How do you become more confident, get more self-esteem, and start believing in yourself?
The goal is indeed very simple: You need to start acting calm, relaxed and cool. You have to talk slowly, articulate, and with a deep voice.
A lot easier said than done, of course. But nevertheless, the ultimate goal of every guy out there who wants to become more successful at attracting the women he wants.
So what should you do to get there? How do you finally become more confident in approaching women and get your self-esteem up and drop all nervous behavior?
The simple answer is this: Practice will make it go away.
Just like the fear of public speaking, it will go away as you expand your comfort zone. Of course, there are quick temporary treatments such as alcohol, weed, or horse tranquilizers, but as I just mentioned: The next morning, you are back to square one.
The practice is the key. But not just by approaching women over and over again, you need to expand that comfort zone into all areas when it comes to socializing or even other forms that boost confidence.
The solution really lies upon your Experience-Level and the amount of Confidence you have.
In fact, nobody can unless yourself!
But, there is something that will increase it, and it’s called having a proven system in your hands.
You see, if you hold something in your hands that is guaranteed to work, your confidence will get a good boost right away.
It’s just like now knowing what to say to a woman or what to do to get her.
you finally do know what to do and your confidence will automatically jump upwards.
But confidence is almost everything here as it gets the chains off your ankles and sets you free.
So for you, the very next step is to go out and apply and use it. You don’t even need to test everything right now; you can use it step by step and see how you progress as you gain more and more experience.
In the end, it’s just like a self-reinforcing circle: The more experience you get, the more comfortable you get in talking, attracting and even walking up to random women, which will further boost your self-esteem and confidence.
And of course, the more confident you become, the easier it will be for you to gain even more experience until you can do everything naturally.
But the very first step is to just go out and DO IT! Don’t ask for permission, don’t ask women if you could talk to them…don't ask for anything just do or take it man, seriously.
Get out of your house and start talking to people. As I’ve said, you don’t need to walk up straight to a woman and go for broke, start small.
Talk to girls who are hired to be nice such as bar-staff, employees or a PR- Crew and then work your way up.
But the basics are still the same while approaching: If you do what everybody else does, then what makes you think you will get anywhere? So many guys walk up to a girl, tap her on the shoulder and say “excuse me…err…” This just won’t work.
Maybe it has worked 300 years ago I don’t know, but paying compliments and acting all nicely nice doesn’t get you anywhere in the 21st century when trying to chat up an attractive woman.
Some may disagree here, but I know what I am talking about. If you act like every other boring guy she has met before, don’t set your expectations too high. because Words are powerful and they can be used to plant images in a woman's mind.
IMPORTANT: To Sum It Up: It’s Your Personality That Counts!
Battling The Problem
We have now identified the problem and covered the most important factors that will screw it up for you.
So How to approach a lady for the first time? how do get solve this problem of acting nervous and coming off as insecure? How do you become more confident, get more self-esteem, and start believing in yourself?
The goal is indeed very simple: You need to start acting calm, relaxed and cool. You have to talk slowly, articulate, and with a deep voice.
A lot easier said than done, of course. But nevertheless, the ultimate goal of every guy out there who wants to become more successful at attracting the women he wants.
So what should you do to get there? How do you finally become more confident in approaching women and get your self-esteem up and drop all nervous behavior?
The simple answer is this: Practice will make it go away.
Just like the fear of public speaking, it will go away as you expand your comfort zone. Of course, there are quick temporary treatments such as alcohol, weed, or horse tranquilizers, but as I just mentioned: The next morning, you are back to square one.
The practice is the key. But not just by approaching women over and over again, you need to expand that comfort zone into all areas when it comes to socializing or even other forms that boost confidence.
The solution really lies upon your Experience-Level and the amount of Confidence you have.
In fact, nobody can unless yourself!
But, there is something that will increase it, and it’s called having a proven system in your hands.
You see, if you hold something in your hands that is guaranteed to work, your confidence will get a good boost right away.
It’s just like now knowing what to say to a woman or what to do to get her.
you finally do know what to do and your confidence will automatically jump upwards.
But confidence is almost everything here as it gets the chains off your ankles and sets you free.
So for you, the very next step is to go out and apply and use it. You don’t even need to test everything right now; you can use it step by step and see how you progress as you gain more and more experience.
In the end, it’s just like a self-reinforcing circle: The more experience you get, the more comfortable you get in talking, attracting and even walking up to random women, which will further boost your self-esteem and confidence.
And of course, the more confident you become, the easier it will be for you to gain even more experience until you can do everything naturally.
But the very first step is to just go out and DO IT! Don’t ask for permission, don’t ask women if you could talk to them…don't ask for anything just do or take it man, seriously.
Get out of your house and start talking to people. As I’ve said, you don’t need to walk up straight to a woman and go for broke, start small.
Talk to girls who are hired to be nice such as bar-staff, employees or a PR- Crew and then work your way up.
If you need some extra advice to help you get past blocks or stepping stones in relationships of all kinds. If you've ever been the kind of guy that's constantly trying to "get the attention" of women but is always falling flat, Get the edge you need to make a woman feel like she wants to spend time with you instead of always trying to get her to like you.
Become the guy that gets the girl calling you up. Turn the tables (no matter how stubborn she is or how much she's holding back from talking to you).
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you to check out an accelerated blueprint below on advanced female seduction created for men… BY A WOMAN! It’s Marni, one of the greatest female dating coaches in the world.
It contains the exact step-by-step blueprint you need to DRAMATICALLY improve your dating & social skills, and get you the girl you want..
If you want to learn the single most effective way to skyrocket your success with women then this will be one of the most exciting messages you ever read.
Because in the next 90 seconds I’m going to show you how to peek inside a woman’s mind.
I’m going to show you how to identify her hopes … dreams … desires … and fantasies…
So you can flip her attraction hot switches like you’re holding a blueprint to her brain.
You see…
Most guys have no clue how to turn a woman on.
They just hope the right combination of words comes out of their mouth and they somehow end up with a sexy girl in their bed.
But it usually doesn’t work that way.
Usually the wrong words come out…
And what results is a painful rejection that can take years to heal.
Fortunately, I’m a woman.
And I know EXACTLY what women need to hear you say and do.
I know what they need to feel … what they need to think … and what they need to experience before they’ll hand themselves over to you.
Most importantly though…
I know the kind of man you need to become to attract high-quality women into your life.
And I’m about to reveal it all to you here…
